They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid Presentable. Then, Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Goatse.

Man, you'd never get me into a ring. Boxing causes brain damage. *drinks varnish*

I dunno. I think I'd prefer him beaten to death with a sack of doorknobs. It's a classic for a reason.

You know a D turns into a B so easily.

Arbeit macht Friends

Upvoted for "melted old man head."

I'd like to test that theory:

Pronoun was the #1 draft pick.

Give me Oh, Inverted World, or give me death!

The A.V. Club

Do as I say!

Smithers, have Bikini Kill killed.

I've been calling her America Crandall!

Anne Hathaway brings out my inner gerontophile.

Somehow, I went 33 years without ever hearing this song. I desperately hope I can make it another 33 years without hearing it again.

This is the role Crash Bandicoot was born to play!

The A.V. Club

Apparently, NBC regularly gets beaten by Channel Ocho in the ratings.

You have to admit though, he's the least scary of the Republican candidates.

Eh, cut Mitch some slack. He was pretty funny in The Master of Disguise.