Some years back Oil of Olay (is it made from bulls?) sponsored a "Beauty Secrets" contest. My wife's was simple:

The bombing of the King David Hotel keeps getting mentioned. But what's conveniently forgotten is that there was a legitimate military reason for it. It was used as a headquarters both by the British and by Arab nationalist groups who were intent on wiping out Palestinian Jews.

I'm just amazed at how badly the monsters fight with these scary weapons. No footwork. No timing. No distance. They're a disgrace to Old School Things That Go Bump in the Night.

Here's hoping the next time you take his advice the girl breaks your finger.

They still exist. I was at a rest stop once and went into the bathroom. There was a glory hole. Two people were using it. There were also little children in the restroom, so I yelled at the two guys and called the police.

Some people, mostly guys, like completely impersonal anonymous frolicking.

I suppose it's better than a Santorium

Lovecraftian. But instead of Cthulhu, it's the biggest of the planet burrowing Cthonians

"In his house deep in the mantle Dead Shudd M'ell lies dreaming"

You win the Intrawebs for today

Groups like ALF and Negotiation is Over are violent terrorist organizations and should be treated as such. It really is that simple.

Hmm, think about what flowers are for. Then think about how they use bees. You'll never look at honey the same way again.

You win the prize!

As I said to Just4comments, erischilde has figured it out

Look at erischilde's reply.

"Cops are held to a higher standard"

Disgusting because they look like vaginas? Reminds me of an old story...

That would be the greatest public health news in, well, over thirty years.

I'd be happy to have millimeter range radar display for nighttime, rain and fog driving

Sloths do alright. Slow but steady