That makes it even worse. If Christian VP Frankenstein can barely pull a dozen people into the local pizza and chicken buffet chain with non-stop Christian music over the speakers, the only logical explanation is that you’re a walking repulsing effect.

There’s so many great images in that article, but the pharmacy stop and the Pizza Ranch one are in a hot race for saddest campaign photo.

I don’t know which is worse, polling 1% with evangelicals or not being able to get 15 Republican voters into a Pizza Ranch. I’ve been to a Pizza Ranch, you’d have to somehow drive Republican voters away from one and that’s no small feat.

In May he was decrying the Oscar’s diversity standards which also seemed like a perfect opportunity for him to lament how insane it is that in 2023 he’ll be forever denied the chance to perform Othello in blackface. Because, y’know, role of a lifetime for an actor like Richard Dreyfuss.

What the fuck did I just read?

This whole situation could have been avoided it if the owner simply made a label across it stating NOT A BOMB. I bet he feels real dumb right now that he didn’t think of that.

But it has to be briefly submersible like the Cybertruck should be, right?

Elon’s biggest problem is obsessing with flash over ubiquitous function. His second biggest problem is running his companies by royal decree. The Cybertruck is an objectively bad vanity project that heavily steals from my 8th grade design I made in a notebook (minus rooftop machine gun or tank cannon options) with…

Say what you will about Sam Barsanti (and you can say plenty), but he’s no Ray Greene. Even when the bar is on the floor, there’s still room for low blows.

The latest Fast and Furious experiments into genetically engineered Family.

“Candace, step forward. Why the hell do you think you deserve a rose?”

What’s it like, having an actual hot dog for a dick?

Hey NY Mayor, what are you going to do about rain this weekend?

You clearly don’t understand the age demographic related explosion of Pickleball. I understand.

Yeah, no. Marriage, contrary to popular belief, is nowhere as way fucked as whatever this book tour we’re putting up with all week. Can we stop pretending their marriage wasn’t way fucked from the start?

No arguments there, it just ended up a placeholder until my lovely wife whipped this up in Photoshop for me:

Very true, I would amend that to include a bed frame and some grab bars to make getting up easier.

Excellent pick, May was a trip and I would definitely squirm through a May II.