...Broaaaadwayyyyyy?

A Constitutional Amendment to implement The Sandman in our democratic process is long overdue.

Ya’ll want a John Wick situation? Because THAT’S how you get yourself a John Wick Situation.

Me, if you so much as threaten my cats:

Neither Activision and/or Blizzard would take me up on my suggestion of the Ultimate Cowboy Name: Scoot Poopler.

Diddy dropped the P because it was getting between him and his fans, so I’m not sure what the rules are for adding or subtracting to your name. Maybe it’s hyphenated, like Dr. Flocka-Flame? Personally, I’d go with that.

Oh, so she wasn’t all that bad.

I know, right? Wh...what does Ivanka Trump have anything to do about anything about Newman’s Own Fuck Hut?

Says you. I want to hear about this Fuck Hut.

I was granted honorary knighthood several times at the Renaissance Faire and I’m pretty sure I don’t outrank David Beckham.

Lay off Reader7890, they’re a good Grammar Cop! They may not follow the rulebook, but they get results!

Peak Boomer shit comment right here.

At least he wasn’t a dick about it.

He had giant fucking stress sty on his eyelid featured There’s Something About Mary, so let’s not discount the trajectory of his career.

I was too young to get married for Cameo, but I’ll hopefully be old enough to cover my Jeff Goldblum eulogy commission.

If a child sat on the corner of a sofa I had unofficial dibs on and I made a big fuss about it on the basis of I’m an important adult, I would expect to be told to pound sand.

Depends if Seth Green’s mom could take Bill Murray back in 1981, I presume.

“Honey, this is Mr. Murray’s seat. He’s the star of Stripes. He was featured in Caddyshack, you know.”

Who knew Seth Green was such a badass?

I like to pick up my cat by announcing “fuck you, get scooped” , but I’d never consider doing that to a child that I’m unrelated to. Maybe that’s why I’m not Bill Murray.