Pardon me, sir. It appears your forgot SLAYER in your band list. Allow me to leave it right here. Thank you.

Nailed it.

The sound of my eyes rolling into my ass from this, just shattered my own reality. Thanks.

I actually can’t even put all my thoughts together on how much I despise these shows (Count’s, Gas Monkey, etc...). But, I will try to summarize: I assume they mostly entertain those who know nothing about cars. This could be why most actual car-folk don’t watch these...or it could be that most car-folk are too busy…

Good write-up, man. I’ve always wondered what one of these goes for. Had no idea it was that much. Holy hell.

So...it will, in fact, not be splitting lanes?

Good points. I think he's outraged from an aesthetic standpoint rather than a functional one though. And, I concur; the addition of all the mandatory (-ish, depending on how dumb you want to ride) equipment does take some of the cleanliness out of the concept.

Somehow, I just know that this is going to lead to a ‘safety-feature v. cool factor” discussion here in the comments.

Nice. Plus all the burnouts, stoppies, and dismantling of the offensively ugly vehicle otherwise suggested here can be done afterwards. He only has a week, you know. Everyone can enjoy this thread at some point.

Ah - accurate and sad.

Good god man, best and most selfless answer. Awesome human being points for you, sir.

Perhaps a series of UK top-gear type challenges is in order.

Lol, oh man. I’d say you were also a 40 plus year old, but your thought process is that of a teenager. “All you do is *this* You’re probably *this* Go *do this*”

Well, I can’t argue with that. Ha.

Caring about how one drives doesn’t make you better than anyone else. But being an internet tough guy Nostradamus sure as fuck makes you a douchebag. Thanks.

I take it you’re over 40 and own a Spyder then...?

Agreed, comparing the two would only be relevant if you were to put Jar Jar on a speeder bike with training wheels (...hover wheels?) and a lazy boy recliner that could only operate within the confines of a starbucks parking lot.

...I mean, that’s just what we needed on the roads: More less-capable people. Let’s face it, these exist solely to give those that cannot operate a motorcycle, what they perceive to be the “motorcycle experience.” It fills that niche of over-40 somethings that are used to taking their Corolla to jiffy-lube for an oil…

Holy hell, best thing I will read all day, hands down. Thank you, sir.

As I recall, there was an episode in the original 70s cartoon in which the mystery machine overheated, the ascotted-one then went to the rear of the vehicle and opened up a hatch to the engine, and was met with a cloud of steam. they then went to find a well to get some water. Solution: Corvair Greenbriar van that has…