From the headline, I assumed the muzzle comment was something he said back in the aughts, when Britney-bashing was cool, and he was now having to apologize for it.

They should really go all-in and pledge to outlaw puppies, orgasms, and cheese. Go down swinging, fuckers!

Nobody has a lower opinion of cops than the Blue Lives Matter crowd. 

They'd rather retain their ability to murder their partners than keep themselves safe. 

Indeed. And how many legally competent celebrities think this writing thing is so easy they can do it themselves, and just vomit up some drivel they expect people to buy? Spears knew her limits and how to expand them. I’m reminded of how she hired her own attorney for the conservatorship proceeding, then for reasons I…

I’m glad she found a good writer to work with her on this. I’ve long gotten the sense from her social media that she has a lot to say, but struggles to put it into words. That’s a common enough affliction even among those of us who had a normal amount of time and attention to devote to high school English classes.…

I’m on a Samsung but for me at least it works in landscape mode. Took me a while to figure that out. 

You might be on to something! 

I ask this question every time it’s in the news and have yet to receive a satisfactory answer. My current theories are:

Interesting. How long has it been kicking around the gay community? 

What’s it like having nothing to contribute yet being unable to shut up? 

Someone help out an Old here.  Did this "_______ era" business start with Taylor Swift, or did she just hop on before everyone started saying it about everything? 

Horrifying. And the entirely logical endpoint of all of this forced-birth madness.

I feel like that’s more common with rich people. Divorce is always expensive, but like the proverbial goldfish that grows as large as its bowl will permit, it gets more expensive the more money you have. And if you have enough money—not necessarily Will Smith money, just second-house, hire-2-cleaning-ladies, go-out-to-…

Do you remember when Laura Bush was doing her First Lady projects and she decided to “promote literacy” by being photographed with a *picture book about the American flag?* Gawd, those were dark days. It’s easy to forget since the Trumps stole their place in history as the worst ever, but they really lowered the bar. 

Also, if you’re not yet all the way through puberty but think you might be trans, it makes more sense to start the puberty blockers now and then do your 40 hours of therapy or whatever it takes. If you change your mind, no harm done; just stop the meds and go through puberty at what's probably a more natural age for…

I kind of get what you mean, in general, but "fuck that young lady" doesn't even sound like someone trying to sound Black. IMO, it sounds like a sailor trying to stop swearing, but always a beat behind his own drum. 

Might be easier to redefine "arms" to mean "anything that induces abortion."

She didn't think the leopard would eat her face.

When I was in fourth grade, my mom and I moved a few hours away to live with my grandma. I was an only child and painfully shy; all my friends had been my friends since forever, and I had no idea how to talk to these new kids at school.