The handrail in the elevator has also expressed regret for its involvement.

Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

Index for regular nostril excavating.

This joke is a good joke.

"Good effort, but you need to blame everyone for being racist bigots on your way out."

Hoover might be nuts, but he still wouldn't have signed Tony Romo to an extension.

The other girl still has better help D than James Harden

No chorizo or lengua makes this list horseshit.

One month later:

"Crossfit is ideal for building cardiovascular endurance....or as I like to call it: the ability to lose gains."

Part of Crossfit is performing movements with a relatively high potential for injury in a competitive environment with implicit pressure to go faster and heavier. This will inevitably lead to breakdowns in form, and injuries.

I hope more players do this. The NBA's age-restriction rule (which they're trying to up to two years / age 20) is absurd. It has nothing to do with wanting players to be "ready" and everything to do with the NBA wanting to get two years of free marketing as the guys build up their names in the NCAA.

Don't worry. He'll be back once the playoffs are over.

At least Brazil's already gotten used to seeing themselves behind 6.

pornhub asks users to upload "rihanna fucked by entire german soccer team" videos

Suddenly I don't feel so critical of my own penis size. Gotze's penis is pretty small.

Good thing that they thinned out her wrists.

The fact that he gets paid to take these blurry, no-technique, bullshit disposable-camera-looking pictures makes me want to set things on fire. Even if he wasn't a total shit as a person, he should not be employed in anything involving photography.

Too bad for Terry that photoshop doesn't have a "remove rape" tool.

Moot point. These are Heat fans. Unless the clerk explains it to them at checkout, they'll still buy it.