And we all know who BIG GAY wants to install as the supreme leader.

Isn't Wolfgang in Van Halen now? So she may've actually been watching her son perform.

Never film the live performance with your phone

The father of her child AND her child. Wolfgang plays bass with them, no?

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I in your way? I'm just trying to watch the father of my child perform on national television."

I just find it so strange that nowhere in this piece do you mention that Bertinelli was married to Eddie Van Halen. For twenty-six years. I mean yes, "everyone" knows that, but next time, please think of the children so we can ward off a million "who?" comments. The internet is already cluttered with "What's Van…

Wait...you think this is real? And not an agreed on "bit" between Bertinelli and Stonestreet?

I believe Kumail is referring to Trever Noah's (misogynistic and anti-semetic) tweets ... which curiously haven't been covered on Jezebel.

As I've said many times, I'm not in love with Texas, but I'm in love with the food here in Houston. It makes up for a LOT of flaws.

Not to make light of this but does it seem like prosecutors were watching Monty Python to come up with ways to prove the validity of the fetus?

to prove that the child was born alive and thus within medical rescue, the prosecutors used an arcane, discredited 17th-century test in which the fetus's lungs are removed and put in liquid to see if they can float, and they floated.

Why? Because it might finally make people realise that the current trends of attachment parenting and helicopter parenting are bullshit?

So she doesn't get to chose whether or not to go to jail? If reproduction is that important to her, she can accept the prison sentence. She's 20, by the time she got out she could possibly have and neglect another baby.

Somebody's fetish.

That's why UnderArmor was invented.

He's just happy his balls aren't being crushed.

Saw it with my own eyes at a chippy in Oswego, NY.

I've seen malt vinegar before but this was some kind of delicious balsamic mayo, perhaps? In any case, I couldn't stop saying "Mmmmm!" with every bite. I was also pretty drunk. I imagine it was pretty annoying.

Cconfirming malt vinegar here in Missouri!