Honest question: How do you know these will be the newest guy on the crew? Sure they are “new full-time hires” but just because the position is new, doesn’t mean the person is new. I assumed when I read it that the positions would be filled from the ranks of the veteran part-timers and would be among the most…

“Ditto.” - Ivanka.

Deadspin’s Philadelphia bureau says that not only is he supported in the city, but should be given a raise.

You’re good at assuming.

I was a bit disappointed when I watched the video and saw he was loitering around the back of the truck for a while. I was hoping it was a heist of Groundhog Day level perfect timing.

I mean, I grew up in white-ass-white CONNECTICUT and that shit makes me uncomfortable. CONNECTICUT. And I went to school in that era. Huh, this revelation weirdly restored a little bit of my faith in Connecticut. Thanks for not having slave auctions with your students, BrokenToasterKid Regional High!

I dunno. I find Ringless Rivers running joke to be better. Though, to be fair, I’m still catching up, only having discovered it recently (Someone on Deadspin posted the Alex Smith in a park “Checkdown” one).

They sound like the menu at that very old Jewish diner sketch on SNL. “Quincy Poindexter is not a sandwich!”

LOL @ Anthony Brown still in the Lakers uniform.

So is Joe Flacco and Andy Dalton.

GJR was always a tough game...always a talented roster, but never the same guys, even with a single season. I have a scar from 1988 when my hand had the misfortune of trying to get between the rim and  a 5'8" guard from GJR on a fast break.

I didn’t know that! hmm. Sounds like an interesting follow-up story could be there, I’m sure it was the memory of a lifetime for the George Jr players.

Take your stupid star and get out.

You lost all credibility as a writer and person when you said Ducks is better than Mighty Ducks.

I already posted this but here it is again, just to help you prepare your brother-in-law for what may come - Regarding the dog. My wife and I have two Wheaton Terriers, about 50lbs. each. Technically they are herding dogs. But every single fucking spring, those two bastards go on a killing spree that would make the…

Yes, but be cool. You: “I heard Fido caught a rabbit.”

did all the good commenters die

the browns need a new qb

Committing long term to a Cousin sounds more West Virginia and less D.C.

I was unaware that the rhinos even cut him.