This is by far the best part of the article. Handing out posters of NFL cheerleaders in their game day uniforms (which, let’s be honest, do resemble “modest” bikinis) to a group of kids in the heart of puberty. Dan Snyder is involved somehow. “Let’s get the next generation of fans hooked on our team. Sex sells!”

I like the part where Brown walked back to the bench and didn’t even look at Curry. And also the part where the Warriors lost.

Created an entire username dedicated to me? Wow I feel special.

I feel like the people at my local Mexican restaurant probably call me “Nacho” behind my back. I also feel like it’s probably not a compliment.

Well, there’s always actual chicken shit...

Incompetent AND disliked? I wonder what Trump will put them in charge of.

Westbrook is currently averaging a triple double. He also has 16 technical fouls on the season. LeBron has 3, Kawhi has 0, Harden has 4.

“SHIT!” - Steelers fans

You’re in the 70's and you have to pick one: Rollie Fingers fastball to the groin, or locked in a small room with an angry Reggie Jackson for 3 hours?

I’m in.

Were Reggie Jackson and Muhammad Ali ever in the same room at the same time?

“Well guys he’s unproven, but he’s not BROCK OSWEILER unproven.” - NFL executives making 6 to 7 figures a year for these insights

Suggestion: Have a Deadspin “ESPN Talent” fantasy league where we bet on who gets let go.

If you want to dance go be a dancer. If you want to pitch quit being an idiot and throw the ball.

ESPN’s “Playmakers”: *pulled for being too real*

It’s weird that with all that’s going so well in Washington, D.C. right now that we would have this slight hiccup with their football team.

“And if they can’t get in to a HBCU, we have great career programs in our private prisons!” - Someone in the Trump administration, probably

Well, this sounds like it sucks. From Wikipedia: