My theory is that it's the settling in phase. There's a chasm between "living together" and "Bound For All Eternity" for some reason. It kind of hangs over every petty disagreement like a vulture, and you find yourself quoting GOB:

Separate bathrooms is a winner. Separate blankets (and in our case, a king sized bed) also help.

It's almost fifteen years later, and the fucking dress is the ONLY aspect of getting married that I actively regret.

As a mother of a young girl, I am so tired of this shit.

I'm getting a roast chicken from Costco for dinner tonight, just as an excuse to make it.

http://www.marthastewart.com/939278/hatch-c…

I use whatever bag of green chile I can grab from the freezer stash. It's fantastic.

I've got a list of what can be done ahead and frozen, what can be done the day before and what can wait until the morning of. Kid Electron is very excited to help; her school has been really pushing the "Feasts and Family" thing already. It'll be fun.

Fuck the full turkey, I'm roasting two turkey breasts from Costco with root veggies and calling it good. There are seven of us total, and I'm the only person who likes dark meat.

I am taking over the family thanksgiving duties this year. I WANT TO TALK SIDE DISHES AND THE PROS AND CONS OF USING MY MOM'S CHINA OVER MINE.

Family lore has me as a descendent of the Proctors and of one of the accusers. Fortunately, I have not been accused of turning anyone into a newt — yet.

Lois Duncan! I loved reading your books as a kid, especially the stories set in my hometown of Albuquerque. Thanks for many, many, many excellent hours of enjoyment!

Yep. We were the last of our friends to walk down the aisle and nobody wanted to go to another wedding, as we'd gone through six weddings in the previous six months. I heard "I love you, but" a dozen times from the time we got engaged to the time we started planning a hometown wedding. People were whining so much…

Yep. I've got super thick and curly hair (the sort that makes stylists cry) and I wash it maaaaaybe twice a week. Post work out, my hair gets leave-in conditioner or dry shampoo, depending on several variables.

Allow me. "My agent said I needed to strike while the iron was hot — I mean, do you remember who won the best actress oscar in 1983? Yeah. That thing's a career killer. ANYHOO, I took on a lot of projects and earned the nickname 'kegstand' from a couple of boyfriends because BEER IS THE BEST, AM I RIGHT, Y'ALL? But my…

I nearly took a swing at Tara during the push for a city ordinance to ban abortions at 20 weeks. She accosted me at a Smiths with a clipboard and shrieked on about the sanctity of life. She assumed that because I had Infant Electron strapped to my chest, I was all about the BAE-BEES.

I have juuuuuuust enough work to keep up the facade. I was laid off eight weeks before I had my daughter, and I am so very thankful for the client who threw me some under-the-table work.

Very early in Kid Electron's life, I learned how to answer "freelance writer and editor" in a forceful manner.

I lift heavy three times a week. I'm in and out of the gym in under 30 minutes. It's PERFECT.

"Wraps look great on every body shape!" they shout. I AM HERE TO PROVE THEM WRONG.

OH, MAN. I FEEL YOU. I gained weight when I was nursing Kid Electron. The first antidepressant I was prescribed for PPD compounded the problem. It has taken three years to claw my way back to my pre-pregnancy size (though I'm still heavier, because I am lifting weight and strong as fuck).