Hell, that was basically my first week of orientation at my last job. We even had to perform a skit about how awesome the company was. I spent the next five years working with the CFOs of dozens of Fortune 100 companies. It was ... weird.

Kid Electron is almost three. She's very demanding. She adores Frozen. She hears "no" a lot. So far, she hasn't been damaged by not owning the Elsa toddler doll. She knows that the merch she does own can be taken away for bad behavior. This is how parenting works. It's not that hard.

I'll keep the memorial tidy for you.

I had already been married for a couple of years when they announced they were filming the first Harry Potter. I am ancient. Please vacate my lawn.

I am now sending this gif EVERYWHERE. That's Kid Electron in like four years.

I have carried a torch for him since he was in Voyage of the Mimi. Nothing short of him nuking the library of congress will shake that love.

I hate that I even have to preface my comment with this, but I love Kid Electron with my whole soul. She is funny and engaging and my world.

And this is where I nerd out trying to reverse engineer the stitch pattern in her socks. I WILL KNIT THOSE SOCKS, OH YES.

I'm frantically working through my Giftmas knitting, and I'm afraid I'm not going to get it all done by December 24. Ugh.

My 70-year-old father is already planning on seeing it, so maybe?

Only weights. Fuck cardio.

Split and I started weight training in the months after I gave birth. In almost three years of lifting, he's put on 30 pounds of muscle and has gone from being an underweight smart ass to being an incredibly physically fit smart ass. I have retained my post-pregnancy planet-like physique — I'm strong but I'm still…

I keep telling myself that if my dad could survive me being 16 when he was 50, I can do it, too.

Hmm. I'm wondering if her adorable toddler diction would help or hinder the interview process?

She comes by it honestly — she's either going to be a science prodigy or a golden age super villain.

Fuck, I'm 36 and Kid Electron is almost three, and I'm already exhausted.

WE ARE WHAT WE EAT AND WE ARE AWESOME!

Step 1: get pregnant.

Hahahahahahahahahaha. I wish I could have done PT for my cluster migraines. It would have been amazing.

I would have gladly strangled kittens for some Advil.