And with the failure of his Hot Pocket line, Perez will begin fading into obscurity, yes?

As Gizmodo pointed out earlier today, the world's going to end in early July anyway. Drink up.

Oh, so many people to respond to!

@Archetype: The day we closed, our mortgage broker informed us that we could take out a full $15,000 in equity. Ah, those heady days of the real estate boom.

@girlscoutcookie: Do what we did — secular yet inadvertent Star Trek wedding (no, really) on a beach on Maui at sunset.

@mama_t: We do this when celeb marriages bust up. All of our friends divorced within 18 months of us getting married eight years ago.

My cousin purchased a 14,000 square foot McMansion in some enclave of monied people in Denver. I suggested that instead of having the live-in, slightly illegal immigrant house staff, she get herself a fleet of Roombas, and then she could do things like hook them all up to leashes and sit on a skateboad and have an…

@nodoubt9203 [אִיזָבֶל]: One of my unenlightened, non-native babysitters decided to break my habit of sucking my thumb when I was four by dipping it in Tobasco. She didn't understand why I kept going back for more.

Is nothing sacred?

I really don't get why these Focus-on-the-Family types don't focus on the love.

The manager at my last job who would only promote thin blondes with E-cups or greater, and his boss who supported that move with "Well, Beep, you're not performing at a high enough level to deserve a promotion."

@dirtyfez: Wait, that means that I'd get an additional 10 points.

@marie123: Not in the way that you'd hope. My mom's suicide attempt at Thanksgiving should have landed her in long-term intensive in-patient care, but it didn't.

Between this and the Walker post, I am reminded that life is what you make of it, and I'm making fresh lemonade with extra booze.

I was a "very poor" wife by 1930s standards (ohai, livejournal meme!), but I'd say by 2008 standards, I rock pretty hard at being a well-rounded married person of female gender.

When I was going through Episcopal confirmation, the priest would roll his eyes at any talk of a coming apocolypse or rapture. "We've been through that," he would say. "It's an allegory."

Damn you and your tasty treats. I'm patiently waiting for my box of British candy to make its way to this little corner of the world.

@Skinny Bone Jones: Best! Dream! Ever!

@not.a.clever.name: @Archetype: Hi, I think I had some of the tainted tomatoes and y'know what? Five pounds lighter and craving some mozz/tomato/olive oil goodness for dinner.

@tscheese: 104 here yesterday and it was honestly not that bad — except for a friend of the Dude's going around saying, "yeah, but it's a dry heat."