@TaraIncognita: Are you married to The Dude, too?

Prostitots.

All I want in life is to live in a Madeleine L'Engle house filled with my Madeleine L'Engle family. Seriously. Laughter and love and science and a rambling farmhouse. That is all I want.

Can we start passing out the torches and pitchforks already?

Autocross for the sunburn and F1 for the naps.

@NefariousNewt: Sometimes I wish I could strip my NM plate off my car when I cross state lines. Every time I drive out of state, I have a scary encounter with cops — including one time in Missouri where I really thought I was going to be sent to GitMo for being an illegal alien.

@girlscoutcookie: The Dude got called into work early for some sort of computer emergency and I"m just dreading what's going to happen when I walk out the door.

Gout is a form of arthritis, and it is not brought on by too much wine, but by too many ureaic (yes, I slaughtered that spelling) crystals in the blood, which usually comes from overconsumption of purines, which are found animal products, especially liver and sweetmeats.

@HelloNos: LOL. The Dude's always trying to get me to wear blue eyeshadow and overpluck my brows because it'd be "hot."

@sayanything: No. Sorry. You're coming off like my mother-in-law, who thinks that any woman over a certain (105 lbs) weight limit should be in a muu-muu at all times.

Trust me — getting married does not equal getting happy. Getting married means getting another person in the household (maybe) and weird tax breaks (maybe) and presents (maybe). But happiness? Isn't written in.

Wait, wait, wait. I can have all the one night stands I want, but wearing pantyhose makes me unslutty? SCORE!

@cate3710: Our Ice Bats hump legs. It's shameful.

The Dude and I are unabashed in how we still play with our toys. My Uglydolls have more compelling stories than most of my friends, and don't get me started on the Dude's inner life.

When The Dude starts moping about how he can never get ahead in life, I'm going to point him at this and then point him at the Wii. I think he'll feel way better.

I have one pair of non-skanky fishnets for when the time is right, but otherwise, my legs are bare, thank you very much.

I'm tired of the guys who do the reverse to me. Don't I really want to be single (no) and get the hell out of the suburbs (yes) and move downtown (ohpleasegodyeswheredoIsign)?

@stacyinbean: That's the Dude's job, even though he's sworn he wouldn't pull a Michael-Bluth-in-Juno move on me.

Wow. And that somehow triggered my body into releasing the two-days-late-but-I-couldn't-quite-bring-myself-to-break-out-the-EPT-because-seriously-we-all-know-it's-coming bleed.

Croppped suits — bad in theory, worse in practice.