I won't snip the nutz off your bumper if you don't make any asinine remarks about how my car can fit in your bed of your truck.

Dear YouTube ballerinas —

We tried this the weekend after the yurt story ran, which was, coincidentally, the weekend of our 8th wedding anniversary.

Hey, I would have gone to a Sister School if they'd bothered to extend any sort of financial aid to me.

@bmwfanatic: ::coughs::

@Benson2175: The middle-aged 25-year-old at my job.

@Ash78: Oddly, when we were buying the 3 5-door, they kept pushing us towards the sedan.

The owners of my kittah's mother dumped the only black kitten out of a litter of six at the shelter. The rest they could sell, they told the shelter worker, but not a black one.

"And then the magical unicorn came down on the rainbow and gave everyone marshmallows, and that's why I should have a cookie."

I can rock a pair of heels, but I've kind of lost my will to wear them this summer, what with the Scary Sadshaws and the M2F transgendered person who has been wobbling through my life the last couple of weeks.

@Maxichamp: The Dude and I once saw Michael Schumacher having lunch with his family in Santa Fe. There was a long, drawn out conversation about approaching him verses not approaching him.

@howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches): And just because I'm getting ready to leave and can't answer any "OMG, what did you do?!"s, I had finished my stack of worksheets for the day and was reading "The Little Prince." In French. It was deemed disruptive and show-off-y and when I said I didn't have anything else to…

I was paddled as a second grader. I was forced to spread my legs and touch my toes and the teacher (in front of the entire class and the principal) hit me twice.

God, that looks like fun.

@nyobserver: Truth. She's been parading around in "Charlotte gear" all week and today promises to bring out "the full look."

@TruculentandUnreliable: If you replace "sport coat" with "ratty black cardigan" and "Jacques Derridwhozits" with "Michael Schumacher" then you'd have yourself a full-fledged Beep.

The honest-to-god M-to-F transgendered person at work is dressing up like Charlotte for the occasion. I really want to sit down and explain to her that is not how we roll, but she seems so happy to ask all of the other women "are you a Carrie or are you a Samantha? No, you're more of a Miranda."

@braak: Oh. That's me except for the sport coat and the Jacques Derrida.

@girlscoutcookie: You wouldn't believe how often this happens at the district level in some football-mad communities in West Texas and Eastern New Mexico. (And beyond, I'm sure — I'm just speaking from my base of experience.)

@girlscoutcookie: Same here, which meant of course he was going to turn out to be little-e evil.