I have ten days vacation, five floating holidays, eight sick days and five days when we're totally closed (this does not include Christmas or New Years). My last job had kicked me up to 17 days vacation, no floating holidays and four sick days, so I'm doing better.

@RainbowBrite: It's complicated, and I say that as someone who cannot hold a pregnancy and is going through a baby boom. On one hand, I wish everyone joy in their choices, because those people who can be parents easily and embrace the choice freely deserve joy, as do the people who cannot be parents right now.…

Attempt at levity — It's the Quiverful Movement in reverse!

@honeybunchesofoats: Seriously, I'm going to pretend like it's just period blood and she's one of those drama-stuffed girls who calls every heavy bleed a miscarriage. Because I can't deal with it otherwise.

I'm so glad some college student decided having multiple miscarriages is fuckin' art. By that line of reasoning, I'm motherfucking Warhol.

@SarahMC: Ding, ding, ding! "Unattractive women" aren't fuckable, ergo they aren't women, or so the douchebags I work with would have me believe.

@howdybeep (rear wheel drive): Though I should say that he's a rabid Formula One fan, but so am I, and we seem to agree on drivers (suck it, Hamilton) and teams (fuck you, Maclaren), so no couch sleeping here.

I think the line from Scrubs best sums up The Dude's sports savvy:

I thank the universe everyday that I am Boring, Ordinary and Normal.

I think I'm attending a timeshare seminar for Menopauseland this cycle. Someone buy me a drink?

@jenalicious: Oh believe me, they do.

I would totally get married in a fitted, ivory coat that would open to reveal a kick-ass burgundy cocktail dress. No veil. Just jeweled combs.

Damn, dude.

Want.

@hamburgerhotdog: He can get steak AND milk, if you know what he means, nudge, nudge.

Ugh. I read this knowing that in an hour, my Smuggy McDouche coworker will roll in from his lunch hour smelling of eau de lapdance, and I want to puke.

One perk of being Nordys/Sephora-less in this dusty berg — I am the only girl rockin' the Amazing Grace.

@Philthyist took a Xanax and is still bitter today: I am waiting for that particular Fine Lines.

@Philthyist took a Xanax and is still bitter today: I do, actually. They're not published. Yet.

@AuroraVox: I figured that out when the one "yes" turned into "yes — if you totally change your ethnic makeup to fit into this one minority category we're trying to exploit."