@AuroraVox: O hai! You weren't the one who pressured my agent to make my book more "female-friendly" right?

My Jez sisters, let me implore you in the bad, bad, badness of hitting on already-committed men. That shit should not friggin' fly.

@LaComtesse: For the younger memebers of the tribe, it's a knockoff Juicy Couture sweatsuit, Mclaren stroller, a pair of Nike Airs and a ball cap (in pink) for either the New York Yankees or the Red Sox.

@angryblackgurl: I'll take a beautiful little African girl if that's what the fates deem. I'd love her fully.

@Archetype: Thanks. This whole process has been one long finger-pointing ordeal. We're selfish because we're adopting instead of trying IVF, we're selfish because we want an infant, we're selfish because we looked internationally, we're selfish because we looked domestically, and we're selfish because our hearts were…

I don't even want to go into the heartbreak that has been the last year of our adoption "journey." The red tape of both international and domestic adoptions probably pushed The Dude on the Mortgage into suggesting a split.

I tend to do that when my hair's not quite dry, and my hair is usually not quite dry when I'm hanging out in the gardening section of Home Depot for whatever reason and, yeah. I totally get where she's coming from.

@ineffable.me: You are truly cruel.

I've gained about twenty pounds since the beginning of October and my face has gone from relatively clear to Zit City.

@tscheese: Holy god, I recoiled in horror at that. Unclean! Unclean!

@tscheese: Oh, hells yeah. They also would have dodged the hell out of the natural folds of the material.

I would rock the hell* out of that white column.

I'm also computer by myself. I have a memory also for unnecessary things. Things like how Uncle Karl shed Fat Karl by eating horse meat and then wrote a cook book for the fat masses.

@TruculentandUnreliable: It worked out (in that I'm still married), but that woman was impossible to please. When we were having the church wedding, she was unhappy. When we switched to eloping for the health insurance, she was unhappy. When I picked my dream dress, she had a sit-down with The Dude on the Mortgage to…

@Hamsterpants: They hates the womens.

@TruculentandUnreliable: Don't. Even. Get me started. On my mother.

We got married on a beach on Maui with just our parents and the whacked-out officiant, and I will admit that three days before we left, I had a complete breakdown because I didn't get the big poofy pretty dress I wanted, but the big poofy ugly dress my mom insisted upon.

Rock on, Lady Vols.

"Tattoos? Different hair styles? Married to Posh? Ring any bells at all?"

Be who you are, Leo.