Fat. Happy. I think I'm down with that.

They are equally qualified to be president.

@blondegrlz: LOL!

@SinisterRouge on Notice!: @myrtlebeachbum: @Rhody: Thank you. It's weird. We've been together for eleven years, married for almost eight, and this totally blindsided me. But, because I know him (been together eleven years, married eight), I'm giving him about three days — two nights, if I stay with my mom — before he…

@SinisterRouge on Notice!: Yep. But then he made the suggestion that we still live together as roommates because the economy's in the toilet. (Seriously.)

On top of all of this, the husband brought up the idea of divorce on Saturday night. I'm still drunk.

Seventeen, bitches. Seventeen.

@howdybeep: *quite

@funnyface: About the only drawback with Kittah is how my shoulder falls asleep around 3 a.m. But she's so damn loyal that once I shake some feeling into it and settle down, she's right back on my shoulder, purring and kneading and being quiet amiable.

@Lady Skittlehattington's Publicist: Awesome.

@funnyface: I could loan you the kittah for the evening. She makes good company.

@Lady Skittlehattington's Publicist: And when they hire you, would you sign me?

We each have our own cuddle things, and I'm only moderately ashamed to admit that I sleep with a husband and a teddy bear.

@Rhody: You are my kind of people. Should I hijack the truck of girl scout cookies currently parked across the street from my office?

@howdybeep: And yeah, it is my dream to go on Jeopardy. I tried out for college Jeopardy, got a perfect score on the written test, won the practice round and then — wasn't picked.

@Rhody: Awesome. I've got original or extra crispy pop culture.

I need people to play Trivial Pursuit with me. The husband refuses because I'm "too smart."

Bad call.

To think if Spitz had just stuck to the love dolls —-

I've had coffee, now I can share the horror.