The same two coaches who coached Aaron Hernandez are vouching for this guy. Hell of a character reference.

I met the guy who whacked my business partner at book club.

“As long as they have the proper permits.”

How come Chris Rock can do a routine, and everybody finds it hilarious and groundbreaking, and then I go and do the exact same routine, same comedic timing, and people file a complaint?

I used Apple Maps to get to the punchline...

Here’s to hoping Dale follows in the footsteps of his distant cousin Chris and pitches ABC on a sting show where he arranges to meet white supremacists and nationalists he meets online...

I served in the military during the Vietnam war, and my foot hurt too, but I served anyway.

Goddamnit Cleveland, you’re driving me bananas! *Freeze and credits*

I’m not great at analyzing the numbers on this kind of deal, but I have to assume Fertitta got screwed because the team is already underwater!

imagine thinking Elon was worth a billion dollars in labor and/or intellect 

I’m a (borderline) millennial.

I’d pay good money to watch that.

Just imagine Drew having to make videos for every WYTS article. It’d be hilarious. The comments would destroy his self-esteem.

Whoa whoa whoa, Michael. Settle down.

I’d also point out that you’re making your hot dogs all wrong. First you open the bun, add the condiments you want. Then you add the dog on top of the condiments. The dog keeps the mustard and relish in the bun and off your shirt.

I don’t know if i’ll ever forgive Gawker for that stunt.

Or at least Fonzie jumping over Michael Phelps.

Russia, in red, is going right to left.

Sadly, this is not the first time it has happened.

Sgt. Perok told TMZ that the cops involved in bungling the arrest won’t be suspended since they acted in good faith, and that there won’t be an internal investigation.