I know it’s kinda specific, but Apocalypse Sow would have been the better name.

Joe Paterno’s son is already denying he knew anything about this.

This article just moved Mixon way up the Ravens draft board.

OMG you missed the cutest woke man there.

Fuck you, Haisley. I think that I speak for us all when I say, “I’d rather be with a dying dog than to spend one more minute in Salt Lake City.”

Side note: Married people use contraception too. People act like every woman on the pill is a literal prostitute.

Hey, if anyone steps on this comically oversized rug bearing our team logo, we’ll be cursed. Where should we put it? How about right in the middle of the locker room? Brilliant!

I’m going to try this duck eggs, so I that when I sear I can get that true Mallard reaction.

They couldn’t reach agreeement on Hume’s first principles of the contents of the mind.

That’s my kinja strategy. Just make confusingly bad comments and hope it leads to people giving me stars to act like they got the “joke”.

Your naivety is positively adorable.

I get it now. 2016 isn’t real, it just refuses to break kayfabe.

Rivera was going to send an email to Adam Schefter announcing the punishment, but he couldn’t find his laptop.

I wouldn’t excuse the driver, either. He’s a dick. They’re both dicks. Everyone’s a dick.

I certainly hope the IOC steps in with severe sanctions to send a message to the other countries that such greed and corruption, without the IOC officials getting their cut, simply will not be tolerated.

Notre Dame players think that they can simply apoligize during the last minute of the game all their personal fouls will magically disappear.

Fuck precautions! Hurricanes are known for their predictability.

If this is true, I can’t believe he hasn’t come out yet. I mean, nothing screams “bastion of tolerance and understanding” like Green Bay, Wisconsin.

“Not so tough when you’re outside your cars, are ya?”

Hillary did not lose because of Bernie’s education plan.