Joe Paterno’s son is already denying he knew anything about this.

This article just moved Mixon way up the Ravens draft board.

It doesn’t even matter, Trump just signed an executive order removing the ban on cockroaches in scuba tanks. THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

OMG you missed the cutest woke man there.

‘We’re gonna build a time wall and the future’s gonna pay for it!’

Fuck you, Haisley. I think that I speak for us all when I say, “I’d rather be with a dying dog than to spend one more minute in Salt Lake City.”

“And in that heaven of all their wish,

Side note: Married people use contraception too. People act like every woman on the pill is a literal prostitute.

didn’t care enough

Hey, if anyone steps on this comically oversized rug bearing our team logo, we’ll be cursed. Where should we put it? How about right in the middle of the locker room? Brilliant!

I’m going to try this duck eggs, so I that when I sear I can get that true Mallard reaction.

They couldn’t reach agreeement on Hume’s first principles of the contents of the mind.

That’s my kinja strategy. Just make confusingly bad comments and hope it leads to people giving me stars to act like they got the “joke”.

He was only off by two feet.

Alternate title-

Your naivety is positively adorable.

As a child, I was wholly entertained and inspired by Kevin’s ingenuity at defending his house.

I get it now. 2016 isn’t real, it just refuses to break kayfabe.

Rivera was going to send an email to Adam Schefter announcing the punishment, but he couldn’t find his laptop.

I wouldn’t excuse the driver, either. He’s a dick. They’re both dicks. Everyone’s a dick.