Your naivety is positively adorable.

I get it now. 2016 isn’t real, it just refuses to break kayfabe.

Rivera was going to send an email to Adam Schefter announcing the punishment, but he couldn’t find his laptop.

I wouldn’t excuse the driver, either. He’s a dick. They’re both dicks. Everyone’s a dick.

I certainly hope the IOC steps in with severe sanctions to send a message to the other countries that such greed and corruption, without the IOC officials getting their cut, simply will not be tolerated.

Notre Dame players think that they can simply apoligize during the last minute of the game all their personal fouls will magically disappear.

Fuck precautions! Hurricanes are known for their predictability.

If this is true, I can’t believe he hasn’t come out yet. I mean, nothing screams “bastion of tolerance and understanding” like Green Bay, Wisconsin.

“Not so tough when you’re outside your cars, are ya?”

Hillary did not lose because of Bernie’s education plan.

nah

No fair. Jerry Jones’ rigor mortis gives him an advantage.

Don’t you mean A Tribe Called Kvetch?

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

Ashley going to the Peggy Noonan/Tom Friedman Journalism By Talking To Randos School. I like it.

aka “first”

he can’t read yet

Andy Reid reaching into his pants to pull out his red challenge dildo

I’ll bet no one saw anything like this coming. Usually these public/private partnerships are great for both parties and a real positive for the surrounding community.