I've always said that if I make it to 75 I'm going to finally start doing hard drugs. I'm pretty sure Molly will make old age far more bearable.

A universe of stars for you. Love this.

I cannot count the number of times I was asked for a Tai Chi Latte. I actually found it really adorable and never corrected it.

Perhaps I am the laziest lazy that ever lazed but I use the pods. The Costco ones are awesome and the price difference isn't a big deal. I suppose measuring laundry detergent isn't that big of a deal but when I used the liquid, I somehow ended up with detergent drips all over the washer and my husband would use a…

I'm with MAM. The color red is obvious not vegan. I can't believe they would even serve it.

I need to breathe into a paper bag for a few minutes after reading about the secret shopper.

I once had a friend refuse to eat a slice of lemon pound cake because I mentioned I'd used my homemade vanilla in it (like 2 tsp in the whole cake). She doesn't drink, and when she learned that my homemade vanilla is vanilla beans in vodka, she declined the cake. I explained that unless powdered vanilla is used, all…

Wait, the parents aren't smart because they buy the pods instead of powdered detergent? Of all the crazy sanctimonious horse shit I've read on Gawker, you might have just won the big prize. Congratulations you smarmy, pedantic douche.

There are worse things. I'm just going to leave this here...

FTR: This is what they look like. It's easy to see why kids would be attracted to them.

The incomprehensible nature of your first sentence aside, people killed by tsunamis, etc., are killed by the action of the water (and the objects carried in it) upon them. Water has no will of its own to commit a dangerous act upon anyone. The water didn't decide to form a tsunami and kill people. It is the effect of…

I made the mistake of giving my 2 year old coffee because I thought she wouldn't like it. Wrong. Now I have a 2 year old screeching "IS THE COFFEE READY YET?!" at me in the mornings. :/ FML.

That's your takeaway here? I'm a helicopter mom because when I cook something I taste it before serving and because when I take my kidlet out I check his food for temp and general non-grossness?

How the hell was a two year old able to stomache the taste of an alcoholic beverage?! I'm 20 and I can barely choke down a glass of sweet wine.

That description sounds like Bengay Cucumbermint, or whatever his name is.

I haven't put my finger on exactly why, but your story from the tattoo shop has me livid right now. Even more so than hearing/reading other stories harassment. I think it's because he didn't even acknowledge you. Like, you weren't even worth acknowledging. You were merely an object that he could touch at will. Layers…

Salty Sweet Peanut Butter Caramel Funky Fritos

I would just stop paying rent and taken all the cameras out of the apartment. If he asked where the rent was I would just show him the pics.

Only Brushy Bat.