too busy processing bananas

Has Freelee weighed in yet?

I'm sure they are objective volunteer security guards.

Yet we are the ones that are too emotional and not logical enough. Uh huh....

I can think of half a dozen reasons a person might not want to have sex with me without even pausing to blink. I guess I marvel that he could literally only think of one reason he might be rejected. Entitlement/confidence comingle, but it must be interesting to live that way

Even if you’ve ordered and paid for your own drink and never left it unattended, I’ve always thought it was incredibly creepy when people encourage you to drink. Even if they’re just like “Hey, loosen up, have a good time! You need to relax! Don’t make me look bad!”

making a human being into a toy, having complete control over their movements and their ability to remember what happened to them is what they are looking for. if it’s hard for you to understand, that’s a good thing. it means the mentality of pathological control is completely alien to you. you should be glad for that.

This is going to sound simplistic, but I’ve found it really helpful with my nieces to give them The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. Seriously. It gives specific examples and techniques and shows you how to develop and trust your own instincts in a situation. And having a book makes it easy to talk about with them…

I’m glad she did, but I’m also sad she did, you know? Like a lot of us women, she knew that this was a possibility, even from a guy who was one of her closest friends, so much of a possibility, in fact, that a stranger in the bathroom has more credibility than he does. That sucks.

I recommend or give The Gift of Fear to all the women I know (who I haven’t already inflicted it on). It’s a good reminder.

Good for them. I wonder how many times people may have been in this situation and not spoken up - god knows I would, and I would have demanded the little shit drink every last delicious drop of GHB-laden pinot (before going Glaswegian and sticking the stem into his crotch). But also, good on the restaurant.

I read Gavin de Becker’s “Gift of Fear” a few months later, and it literally changed my life.

It was one of those, “Oh, no, motherfucker, not today!” moments. It didn’t take much of my time to give someone a hand and make a creepy opportunist back right off.

I went on a super fancy date with a guy under similar circumstances in San Francisco, except I drank the wine. I asked, somewhere between course eight and nine, what time the last train ran. He said 1 a.m. It was midnight.

Standing outside the very-much-closed train station, he said, “A taxi will cost you at least $50…

My first thought was that he’d done this before and figured they’d finally caught up with him.

Date raped after a work party - BY A COWORKER - AT HIS HOME - of course he waited until everyone left and explained my sudden unconsciousness with “she must have had too much to drink.” I’d had ONE drink he made for me. I got teased about being a lightweight by coworkers who I couldn’t tell the truth because I was…

This story gave me chills. My first thought when I read the part about the police was “just like that?? They just believed her?”. I can’t believe things actually happened the way they’re supposed to.

I’m glad she believed a stranger instead of thinking “that’s my best friend, he would never do that”.

Hope they get to the drug source too

I think perhaps the most depressing thing about this is how many comparatively random women present had their own stories. This is part of why I think the number of women who have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime is much higher than more conservative estimates like to place that figure. Men seem…