Let me axe you something, would you recommend it?

Reminds me of a former housemate of mine. We were all quite poor at the time, looking back. But this one guy, you could always go to him for one thing, if you ran out. His motto was:

Same. Not sure how I got this old.

True, I just meant basic stuff like “whether I want to get a job or try to go back to school, or both, or neither,” that many, though certainly not all, of us can identify with.

“So, am I correct in assuming that you’re married, but perhaps unhappily so/bored/going through the motions?”

You know, mostly I’ve been looking at this whole Ashley Madison thing with a sense of remote abstraction. I never used the service. So, like jilted love songs or baby photos, it’s just another realm of human activity that I don’t relate to at all.

The funniest thing? If nobody ever mentioned a gender, the hacker would always be known as being a “he”, without anyone ever standing up to say “do we have proof the hacker is male? No, then why do we refer to him as male?”

I’m not sure what you’re getting at here...

Well, it's past 2. What happened?

That’s not how alcoholism works.

Um, I would never think of or refer to a black person as “uppity”. You’re projecting ideas about who I am and what I think and you’re going too far. What I take exception to is not a black person educating me about racism, which I welcome, but that every time I see anyone question anything Kara writes in the comments…

Why does anyone owe her fucking shit? Fuck her and her entire family. Canceling her wedding because her brother is literally the racist, murdering scum of the earth isn’t anyone’s problem but hers, and the bullshit 10% of donations nonsense is possibly the most pathetic and insulting aspect of this entire thing. They…

Maybe it's the fact that I had a roommate who would take pictures of herself doing yoga poses and post them to Facebook, but people like this piss me off.

Why does she have 6 yoga mats?

Cats are such beautiful, precious little assholes.

Yes, semantics do matter so you might not want to speak monolithically about white people and their “tendencies”. I agree that this Roof bitch is totally out of line, but in your rage and disgust you have to listen to what you’re saying, too.

She’s so despicable that I’ll go there.

In all fairness, the “history and nostalgia” associated with the wedding-industrial complex is not unique to white people. Bridal delusions of grandeur are equal opportunity. That said, this is one of the more disgusting examples I’ve seen.

AGH tell me about it. Coworker brought in cherries, and I overdid it, as predicted. Woe, for I am gassy.

Ugh, what a busy summer Kylie’s going to have. She has to send out invites for her 18th birthday party, plan a wedding, make amends with Blac Chyna, and fill out a voter registration card!