Oh c’mon man! Just....just fuck you ok, Meloni! All buff and hunky an shit! I could look just like that...if I didn’t live on Little Debbie snack cakes and whatever cola is on sale this week. And also if I was handsome. So...just....shut up Meloni! Nice kilt, dork! <sniffle>

He may be wearing glasses or a kilt or whatever, but that goatee is wearing an Adidas tracksuit 24-7.

The flag is from China. It is made of bats.

My prep consisted of buying two bottles of Tito’s and three mega family size packs of toilet paper. It’s been a good nine years with my boyfriend, but I think he’ll understand.

Kill the bottle of wine, but in the college sense of the word, wherein you chug it and black out until this is all over.

I’m calling bullshit on Jr’s tweet, he has no friends.

“Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro? I don’t know that person.”

Strawburst jelly beans should have higher numbers.

Juicy pear jelly belly are the shit though.

“I really don’t get the runs on toilet paper.”

I can carry it to the couch under my hat.

Yeah, but that wouldn’t calm Bill’s anxieties, because he doesn’t inhale.

“We don't have mirrors. Mother says they're sinful."

You were the best candidate and it wasn’t close. I’ll pour out a Michelob Ultra for ya, Senator.

That will never happen. He has no internal organs. If you boiled him and cracked him open, he would just be one large weird meaty clump like a lobster. Seriously, by all accepted health standards, there is ZERO probability that he would still be alive if he were human. Our only hope is for when his brain finishes…

I supported Warren.

I’d like to punch this protester right in the chick nuts.

Bloomberg won American Samoa. I don’t even know where that is.

I was so hoping Warren would come back and voted for her yesterday. What a shame. I really hope she gets another shot in the future.

Emerson, Lake and Palmer.