“Good luck finding a deejay who can move and shake LIKE THIIIISSSSSS!”

I loved popcorn when I was a child and my dad used to scream at me when he’d step on an errant kernel, which hurts very badly. Now I am a parent who steps on my son’s legos. I deserve every yelp. 

You could do what I did with my dress from my first wedding (2004) and donate it to a community theater for costumes!

“Long crotch” will get me through the rest of this day. 

I admire you ability to keep any of those for more than a day. If I had any of them in my desk I’d black out and they’d all be gone in a flash. 

An esteemed graduate of the Kid Rock School for Tight Rhymes.

SO DID I!!!

That pointy stick is ideal for killing vampires, so it’s at least useful.

Cats was my first exposure to musical theater and I have loved it ever since, but I have VIVID memories of Growl Tiger scaring the absolute shit out of me. I had nightmares for months after seeing him and every time I hear the song to. this. day. I get the creeps. I was able to look past this to name two of my cats…

I second the idea of wrapping different parts of the gift separately. When my son was about 2 I got a pack of 12 plastic dinosaurs and wrapped each of them individually. Boom! Big pile of gifts for the price of one!

I’m with the guy below who mentions the chocolate cake from Matilda. Also:

I’d stay away from the extra Chuckle though, if I were you. 

Are you in my head!? I literally did this LAST NIGHT when a recipe called for heavy cream I didn’t have. Spooky!

Played by David Arquette.

Just a little too close to the truth, right? Like “We Hear for You” on Succession. 

To quote Pete Holmes, “low tide.”

It really is because I am not actually sure which one of us is the troll in this scenario. I had 200% thought it was you, but now I am really thinking you think it’s me. I was just making lighthearted comments about how they can get away with “shit” but not product mentions, and how cooking shows inevitably slip up…

“Duh?” Ok.  

Boy, Rice Crispies must pay ungodly amounts of money for as many mentions they get between this and Food Network. “Rice Cereal Treats,” my ass. 

My fantasy is that David will Win It All next week since he’s been the bridesmaid the whole time. A Cinderella Story. TIME TO BE THE BRIDE, DAVID!