Misandrist wedding invitation addresses:

I had some IPL done in a beauty salon and they quite happily zapped away... and now I have a machine at home I continue by myself doing weird contortionisms!

Huh. That has to be really, really weird.

Fake boobs don't float. The saline ones don't, anyway. They do get colder and stay colder than the rest of your body in cold weather or cold water.

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH

Happy, hairy, jubbly little buoys. (said in a Bob Ross voice)

Actually this is something I have wondered too. I imagine fake boobs do, because I imagine silicone does, but do natural boobs? I've never been in an appropriate situation to ask that, so what the hell. YOLO.

Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

It was me. I follow teens around, and yell at them to use condoms.

Another successful edition of "Why?", a column by Kate Dries!

Finally, a Disney Princess post I give a damn about.

I wholeheartedly stand by my sentiments. Fucking fuck that.

It's not even my birthday... but I wanna lick the icing off

I used to live in England, and I still have almost all the underwear I bought there. You can try M&S, they do multipacks of black knickers and will ship to the US for free. Like these: http://www.marksandspencer.com/5-pack-cotton-… or http://www.marksandspencer.com/5-pack-cotton-…

They were both well executed. And the manatee was well hung.

Aw my crusties! I'm a punk. Oh crusties.

I think it's time to resurrect LADY MACGYVER.

This thread is now about clowns.

Do you get to pick which band member? Or can it be a different band member every night?