Also I'm so sorry about what you're going through with your boyfriend - I hope it all works out.

This is what Florida feels while it's watching Backdoor Boysluts 4.

Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos.

"$650 in weekly child support"

I'm not sure why pussy got ruled ineligible but there are plenty of other options:

Not saying "pussy" while sexting is news to me...
Why would anyone say "vagina" while sexting or sex'ing? "ooh pound my VAGINA big boy!" ...huh?

I get what you're saying, too. You're completely right, the fact that people reach for their phones to film instead of reaching out to people who are in need is reprehensible.

I fell unconscious while sitting in a restaurant when my daughter was 5. Was I a junkie because I was slumped over with my mouth open? No, I was a cancer patient. Lucky for me, caring people called for help and cared for my child until the authorities arrived. I have no memory of that day, only waking up days later…

Please tell me "Mutual, I'm sure." is a reference to the bimbo character from White Christmas.

Thank you! My folks date one another all the time, and social interactions with their peers is an every day part of learning and development. There are dances held for them all the time, so the "dating" aspect of the social interactions is highly encouraged. The difference between that and this news story is the…

I'm a stay at home dad. The mother of my child makes way more than me (I make nothing). I don't care about cars or guns or the UFC. I find dick showing masculinity to be beneath our entire species. I sometimes shave off all my body hair. I enjoy all genres of music, including music by female pop artists. I even eat…

One night, my partner and I were in bed and heard a scary noise downstairs. He was all prepped and ready to go master the evil in the darkness, when I, joking, said "Be a man." He got back into bed and refused to check, while imploring me to 'Be a man.' I was, in fact, a man—and went downstairs to find the cats…

I want a bikini bottom with Ecce Homo on it. I am not gonna lie.

OH GOD HER CROTCH HAS TURNED INTO A BLACK HOLE OH GOD RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

It's not a lie, the thought of having kids makes me:

I'm going with this:

Max von Sydow also played the devil in Needful Things, which was directed by Fraser Heston (son of Charlton).

Sexy white Jesus: I know how to love him.