Fortunately, Cutler is immune to criticism. Unlike his kids, who aren't immune to a goddamn thing.

*Nationwide commercial tune*

I look forward to the Sixers having to play an entire game with a Fatal Windows error projected onto the floor.

The liberal media would NEVER have blasted Chelsea for being in a drunken brawl because she doesn't get into drunken brawls.

Let's embrace it! Next week, Bristol gets compared to the new episode of The Walking Dead. The week after, Bristol gets compared to a bucket of cheese fries. The week after that - twist! - Bristol Palin gets compared to her mother, and comes out the victor, because one thing we can all agree on is that Bristol's mama…

"The trip consisted of the (charter) bus driver allowing the music to play very loudly, dancing in the aisles, strobe lights flashing iPhones to reflect the club-like atmosphere,"

Not everyone wants to be reminded that game they love watching on Sunday has a very real cost to the people playing. It doesn't make you a jerk, it just means you'd rather not acknowledge the cost of your own entertainment. Ok, maybe that does make you a jerk...

This is exactly why I almost black out from rolling my eyes too hard whenever people fawn over players like Wes Welker for being warriors who refuse to cede playing time in the game they love to head injuries (like they were some kind of pussy or something!)

Yeah, awesome, you're tough — and I like your passion — but…

That's why he's the best

Nah. Helpless is #1.... "There is a town, in North Ontario......"

The real highlight is the red boxer being pulled out of the ring by one foot.

Delusional, really? Could a person suffering from delusions carefully shade in a huge, perfectly identical, "TMZ" logo on each page?

And it doesn't hurt to have someone with a Cluster B Personality Disorder at receiver either

Police must have begged the dealer for an alias.

"Let's CRUSH some 'za, bro!"

What's it like to not have any empathy at all for other human beings? Life is not just your own, friend. People make huge horrible mistakes and we in America (it's literally in our Constitution) believe all people are afforded their due process.

You're doing the lord's work today, guy. I appreciate it. Regardless of whom Michael Brown was or what he may have done, it doesn't justify the grossly excessive force used by Officer Wilson.

You are a disgusting person.

Brother is a cop. So are a couple of other family members. You don't like being a cop, you don't become a cop. Cops are good and bad. Stupid racist trash is always bad.

"You white libs"