"I'm not a bigot! I'm not bi-anything! That's fucking disgusting!"

Half, Eddie! HALF!!

Welp, I'm convinced. I mean, no one who's gay has ever lied about it before.

"Now THAT was premature!" —Rick Pitino

This was Tyler Perry's best work in years.

Bill Belichick has slept with every single woman in this photo.

I feel like this should be two separate stories - the beginning is more about being rude and the rest is about being a fat person on a plane. I could have done without the rudeness bits, because if you read that part AS WRITTEN, it doesn't seem like it has so much to do with someone being fat so much as being late…

I think Brian Davies misspelled "taint".

The Mommy Clip on the handle is what does it for me. Man knows how to scooter shop.

I'm always amazed at Tyson's self-awareness and humanity. There were flashes of it in his earlier days and I've come to almost expect it now but I'm always at least a little surprised. I don't think it's a function of the human side of him contrasting so starkly with the perception of him as a violent monster-type.…

And the Minnesota Vikings have found their next quarterback.

"We should make Jonathon Martin stiff arm sharks to toughen him up."- The Dolphins front office

There's a line between making a rookie carry your luggage in the airport or dressing them up like the Naked Cowboy and causing physical injury or threatening gang rape of the rookie's sister.

All of this, all of this world of sports, especially the sport of football, has a setting. It's set to men.

"I know how professional sports works"

And then he went back to his job selling womens shoes, before driving his Dodge back home to see Peg and reminisce about the time he scored 4 touchdowns for Polk High.

"They're so little" says the 5' 8 head coach with a chuckle.

Tom Brady: 5 year contract in 2013, $57 million. Dustin Pedroia: 9 years, $119 (including $63 million over first five years). So I guess Dustin can stand on his wallet to look into Tom's dreamy eyes.

We'll Tom, Pedroia would be taller if you hooked him up with some of those dope ass Uggs.