Given Ditka's politics, this surprises me. But good for him.

So she's free to date now?

I don't believe in mocking high school students, so I'll refrain. Besides, there will be plenty of time to do so in a few years when she starts showing up at school board meetings demanding that her kids' biology teacher be fired, since we all know we don't come from no monkeys.

Pictured: Incognito done in teal.

Buy your tickets now for World War Tow, the premier amateur tractor pull event in the Tri-State Area. It's going to be a Haul-o-caust.

If Richie Incognito didn't have football he'd either be an enforcer in one of those prison white supremacist gangs or he would run 4 Zaxby's franchises and call himself an entrepreneur.

"yes, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in my life, I have been dumped."

This is it. The most privileged article ever published on Jezebel. You did it guys. WE did it.

Thanksgiving at the Reilly house is going to be awkward on so many levels this year

Somebody should have passed her a mic right afterwards just so she could drop it.

Sweet robot Jesus, that's an awesome gesture.

I hate Ohio State with every fiber of my being, but....sonofabitch....nicely done, gentlemen.

you're way overvaluing their defense

“This is my calling. I was born to do this.”

My heart totally breaks for everyone involved in this story - the people who have 40K to spend renting a house, the landlord who owns a house in an exclusive, expensive real estate area... So much injustice suffered on each side, for both of these people.

Easiest blind item EVER you guys...

I was pretty pissed too! Thanks for 1.5 pts, Mike.

Because he coaches the Redskins.

Baby Got BAC

Why do I have to take sides? Can't the NCAA be greedy AND Johnny Manziel be a total jackass?