Man, I don’t give a fuck about Hallmark movies (except at Christmas when I need something to play in the background while I wrap presents), but I dig this Aunt Becky as a villain idea!

This I agree with, but my other thought is that his folks helped him disappear and that the whole nature preserve thing is a decoy. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if five years from now he’s arrested in Colombia for killing his new girlfriend.

Okay I read this and instantly thought about Uncle Joey from Full House. Because they were a thing, right? I thought “You Oughta Know” was about him, which, ew, but is that true or just a rumor?

Goddamn now I want is a dogs-only Met Gala.

Or Fayden, Feighdyn, Feydon.

OH MY GOD THE HORROR!

Okay that's just mean. ;)

If Game of Thrones taught me anything, it's that guys named Jamie should not be trusted.

So dry 3A curly head talking here, but I lost about 75% of my hair (you read that right) after the birth of my second child. That was unpleasant. My “undercoat” came in with a vengeance about 4 years ago and I’m still dealing with the fallout (pun intended).

This is so, so, so bad.

Well, the accusers were just a bunch of silly girls, of course! Everyone knows that bitches gonna lie. Women aren’t to be believed, even if they are Simone Biles or Christine Blasey Ford.

As a proud recipient of a child tax credit last week, let me say that this shit is awesome! My kids are going to get to participate in extracurriculars that I would otherwise have hesitated in enrolling them in. So not only do my kiddos get the benefits of learning new skills and socializing, but my local economy is…

Can we keep them isolated from the rest of us in the meantime? Not like a concentration camp or anything, but maybe like, I dunno, Western Nebraska? Just let’em have that to fuck up and Ouroboros-ize themselves.

Quaalude Pudding Pops, or How I Managed to Rape All of Those Women

Thank you for this. Your service is to humankind is appreciated!

Man, fuck Bill Cosby and fuck everyone who goes to see his fake-ass sage old man schtick.

What about just a rage-filled, entitled mop? I feel like that’s enough.

Yeah I fucking LOVED thongs and low-rise jeans. I was also a complete goddamn moron during the early aughts, so this is only a correlation, but perhaps causation should be investigated further.

Jesus H. Christ I didn’t recognize the name of a single individual mentioned in this piece.

Aside from the fact that “Ainsley” so easily becomes “Anus-ley” on the playground, it’s a surname. Not a terribly good surname, but a surname nonetheless.