My parents live in Florida, and there’s a gator that lives in the pond behind their house. I dubbed him The Dogcatcher.

This. Yes. About basically everything.

He played a different type (somewhat) in the Mark Ruffalo HBO movie that came out last year. He was really great in that.

They did not, however, change my life.

The way I read it, it says “Not a bear attack: Life-saving drug.” Like, someone confused a life-saving drug with a bear attack.

...it’s a lake. It’s a big lake! But still a lake. The waves are only really nasty during storms, and you’re not allowed to be on the beach then, anyway.

I watched Major Payne and In the Army Now whenever they were on tv. Same for Srgt Bilko, Private Benjamin, GI Jane, A Few Good Men, and An Officer and a Gentleman. I’ll take my purple heart with a side of Congressional Medal of Honor, please.

That is a glorious image, but she was younger than me, black, trans, and super thin, with beautiful curly hair (I have big curly hair, too, so I’m partial). She wearing a skintight leather skirt and tube top to a daytime wedding, though, so we can TOTALLY clock her for that shit.

HAAAAA! “Stay confident, girl!”

It was so bizarre, because it was a total stranger! Like, who does that? Just mean.

Ah, I should’ve known. I didn’t think it was saucy enough for a read, since her tone was so light and airy. If we’re going to go with Steel Magnolias characters (a movie I want to love, but hate Julia Roberts too much to get through), she was more Dolly Parton about it and less Olympia Dukakis. :)

I told her thank you and said I loved her big hair, but I was still really mad.

I will never forgive Sarah Palin for bringing the term “gotcha question” into the lexicon. I almost vomited when I heard my parents use it.

Kara, I was at a wedding down south (where shade rules supreme), and a woman said what I read as incredibly shady, but I’d like a ruling from the judge.

Thank you. So few people understand. The Mother’s Day article on Jez really hit me hard, because most people really are “But that’s your MOM! How can you not be best friends with your MOM?”

This video just screams “I am Africa” from Book of Mormon to me. Yes, Tay. You, too, are Africa.

Mine does that, too. It’s why I started only calling my dad when he’s at work. Of course, he retired last month, so that won’t be an option anymore. We’ll see what happens from here.

I forgot O’Dell passed. Dammit.

That one Green Mile scene gave me a panic attack. Horrific.