Do you think Rian Johnson is just passive aggressively e-mailing the Rotten Tomatoes score of Knives Out to JJ Abrams, and then following it up with “Sorry man, I accidentally CC’d you”?

You mean to tell me all the idiots who don’t actually have good taste in anything and just wanted to be rewarded for their knowledge of the lore were WRONG??? NO.

The Wicker Cat

The plot was (and still is) nonsense—it’s about a tribe of cats called the Jellicles who come together once a year for a ball in a junkyard to decide which one of them will be sent to the Heaviside Layer, a kind of feline hereafter, to be reborn.

The one thing about the last jedi that I really liked was the revelation that Rey was a nobody. I though that was important, otherwise everybody is related to everyone else and the galaxy isn’t far, far away, it’s just really small and up close.

As soon as I read “Resurrected Palpatine” I knew I was catching this one on the airplane.

have you ever tried sex?

I’ve been avoiding trailers and information on this so I can go in with low to zero expectations. So I only read your first and last paragraphs. But based on the little I am seeing and hearing, I fear that I’m going to be left wishing that whatever story they tell in the Rise of Skywalker had been fleshed out and made…

You wrote it better than I could have, but I was afraid of this when I heard they weren’t going to have Rian Johnson back. At least I’ll always have The Last Jedi.

I also want to say that I really liked that Rey had parents of no particular note, and that there were little Force users all over the Universe (suggested by the last scene) just waiting to be discovered and trained. I’ll be disappointed to have this walked back.

And an action that he clearly and explicitly was not going to follow through on. People blow that so out of proportion. 

So a flawed but ambitious attempt to save an institution from itself was met with histrionic backlash, resulting in a bombastic, deeply insecure, deeply empty retreat back to the familiar, at the cost of that institution’s integrity. I shouldn’t be taking any of this seriously, but I’m going to go ahead and refuse to…

A plot point that he literally describes as the briefest moment of weakness and that he regrets so deeply that he sends himself into decades of self-enforced exile?

Wait, people didn’t like Ant-Man and the Wasp?

I saw this film, and did not enjoy it. If you see it and do, that’s great. Despite my personal feelings, I would never begrudge someone gleaning 140 minutes of enjoyment out of this hard, cruel existence.

My biggest concern coming out of TLJ was that Abrams would overcorrect to backlash to it.

I’d been holding out hope that Palpatine would be more of an ephemeral presence, or only showed up in Rey’s visions or something, but no, of fucking course they literally resurrected the evil emperor. Because god forbid we deviate from the concept that there are, like, four people of consequence in the entire galaxy.…

If I’ve learned anything it’s that I don’t want to see them make another mainline Star Wars ever again. The, sigh, “Skywalker Saga” is just so freighted with audience expectations that the urge to pander by telling the exact same story over and over again is just too great. Set something in the distant past, or the…

SOMETHING SOMETHING SJW SOMETHING STICK TO SPORTS.

I mean I already knew how this film ends so why would I bother watching it. (If the film’s called Rise Of Skywalker and there’s only one living Skywalker left then I assume that Skywalker will Rise. It’s like making a Star Trek movie and calling it Star Trek: You Think Scotty Dies In The First Act But Don’t Cha Worry…