Olde Irish toast sounds like a Ryan brothers’ breakfast.

The worst part is he found the guy’s car after he went down the tunnel:

“You didn’t see us racists electing as President a reality tv star completely unfit for any political position until you libtards elected a black guy, so really it’s your own fault.”

Laugh now but we’re going to spend the next week being told that covfefe is a real term and reports that it is indeed not “fake news.”

big idiot’s beef

We are better off with a rock as president.

You’re an insult to everything America strives to be, from the words and deeds of our Founding Fathers, to those of our greatest presidents of centuries past. You are a know-nothing moronic thug cut from the cloth of the very same sick hatemongers our forefathers fought and died to defeat overseas, and the traitorous…

Puig: Yo la tengo!

Are you not aware agencies share Intel amongst each other, no matter if it’s top secret or not? ISIS is a worldwide issue, and if Israelis have knowledge about plots against airlines, THEN who gives a shit who the president tells. People like you are acting like he gave away top secret info regarding military…

That would probably break the internet.

What’s this “yeah, look at me, I’m still running, my ears are pricked up,” stuff. Act like you’ve been there before, horse.

“Hey Fatty, I got a movie for ya....how ‘bout A Fridge Too Far!?”

I don’t want to embarrass myself. I’ll just go with the muumuu

“And let this be your window to weight gain!”

Pretty sure leaning some of your weight on the towel while the guys are securely holding it up can alter how much you actually weigh.

“I’m sorry, what was that you said about the squash courts?”

aww, it’s kinda like my kid’s PJs. Sure, it makes my son look like he’s a ninja, but really he’s just going to bed.

I was 18 and still in high school this time 16 years ago, so I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer!

I’ve never once seen a bike on a Hummer, but if I ever did, you know it would be a late-90's Y-frame downhill bike. Nothing else would fit.

“The vehicle got a lot of attention for ruining allegedly ruining people’s idiots Instagram shots of the village”