Puig: Yo la tengo!

Are you not aware agencies share Intel amongst each other, no matter if it’s top secret or not? ISIS is a worldwide issue, and if Israelis have knowledge about plots against airlines, THEN who gives a shit who the president tells. People like you are acting like he gave away top secret info regarding military…

That would probably break the internet.

What’s this “yeah, look at me, I’m still running, my ears are pricked up,” stuff. Act like you’ve been there before, horse.

“Hey Fatty, I got a movie for ya....how ‘bout A Fridge Too Far!?”

I don’t want to embarrass myself. I’ll just go with the muumuu

“And let this be your window to weight gain!”

Pretty sure leaning some of your weight on the towel while the guys are securely holding it up can alter how much you actually weigh.

“I’m sorry, what was that you said about the squash courts?”

aww, it’s kinda like my kid’s PJs. Sure, it makes my son look like he’s a ninja, but really he’s just going to bed.

I was 18 and still in high school this time 16 years ago, so I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer!

I’ve never once seen a bike on a Hummer, but if I ever did, you know it would be a late-90's Y-frame downhill bike. Nothing else would fit.

The Simpsons are yellow...uncertain if ‘cartoon’ qualifies as a race though

“The vehicle got a lot of attention for ruining allegedly ruining people’s idiots Instagram shots of the village”

There is a huge viewership disparity between with Tiger. Those additional viewers mean additional money.

Could’ve been worse....

And yet, defensive holding remains an automatic first down while offensive holding doesn’t even result in the loss of the down on which it was committed.

i.e., my mom didn’t make me wear a seat belt when I was little and I survived = car seat laws are dumb.

The score is still Q to 12!

17. When the ball breaks its placental sac, allow it to climb about your body gently probing for any weaknesses and using its lace sensor to detect potential sources for food.