Good boy.

Don’t let this development ever let you forget that the Atlanta Falcons blew a 25 point lead in the SuperBowl.

Interesting new tact for NFL players: Suspend yourself before Goodell can

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

I know earnest does not work well here, but fucking good for him. Just a guy in the NFL who wants to do right by the kids and who calls other guys out for charging them — even if on behalf of a charity that these kids have no responsibility to support? Hell yeah.

“Stop, stop, please stop [scoring],” and they responded, “I’m sorry, we can’t.”

Agent v. Agent is like a wizard fight for assholes.

Somebody didn’t have a dad.

Ha. “I noticed the grass on the fairway was freshly mowed and someone had put a lot of work into it. I saw that, instantly- and I saw it before- it just looked really well manicured. I didn’t want to hit the fairway and mess up all that hard work. I pull hooked it and erred on the side of not hitting the fairway,…

Sweet Jeebus, could you imagine if the NFL encouraged fans to report infractions as they were happening on the field, and then those infractions would be enforced? Holy shitballs, that would be a cosmic clusterfuck. But...I kind of also want to see it.

This 11-year-old kid just put together more tangible thought and words than the fucking President of our country has at any point in his life.

lol that is, by far, the best question ive ever heard asked at one of these things

Eighteen hours later:

Website that employed Jordan Sargent calls retired professional basketball player unqualified to coach amateur basketball team

After the interview, Duquette retreated to his office, violently fell to his knees, and worshipped hungrily at the Altar of The Eckstein, repeating the verses from Grittiacus and Scrappitudicus he’s come to know so well.

But, why

[Sees Patriots moves]

Oh yeah, can’t forget about Branch. I mean they essentially let Wilfork leave in favor of Branch and the guy’s been a beast in the middle. The Pats have always seemed to place a high priority on stopping the run and a skilled NT is key to that. Branch certainly qualifies there.

‘One-run homer’ gave me the giggles