Do all career .248 hitters get paid that way, or just the ones where you intentionally omit that they are four time all stars? 

Ahh yes, finally the “Glass ceiling” will be removed, ensuring this organization can pay equally based on real merit.

The fight for the top four should be even tighter this year than last, with four teams duking it out for two spots until the very end.

I think you could argue that much of what they spent, they spent well - and that the timing of a big investment (with Chelsea under a transfer ban and United.. well, you know) was excellent to give them a stab at a Champions League berth next year.

Yeah it makes more sense that they accidentally combined on a transaction that gives the appearance that each has learned something important, than that they actually have learned it

Oh man. Let’s remember some Blue Jays. 

Sigh.. it’s going to be fun watching Deadspin pivot away from anything other than sports (it’s already happening! where is adequate man?) and then flounder around with its executives totally unable to explain why a site that does only sports but has a fraction of the access of its competitors isn’t thriving. 

So Adequate Man is off the front page now, eh? 

He’s not as old as the fucking 53 year old DC United are apparently trotting out from the top picture, jesus h christ

If anything the club has to be removed and destroyed if only to give us a term to use in future similar situations, eg. “Crawley Town had better cover these debts or else they’ll run the risk of being Bury’d” 

I’ll read your article in a sec Luis, but continuing from last time you know what I think my favourite non-transferrable soccerism is? “Unplayable.”

The Lakers gig looked like a fresh start and another chance at ... a ring

“boy”? Does that scan to the English the same way it would to us? 

a couple of transfer windows without any big signings

These are absolutely glorious but I would contend the Romanians might do better - there’s a hysterical essay in David Sedaris’ last book about it, apparently a fairly mild one is “I shit in your mother’s mouth.” Another good one is “I drag my balls across your mother’s memorial cake”

Fucking Americans. 

I read that Lo Celso means Tottenham will end their pursuit of Dybala, fwiw (not much)

The pelican will eat as much as four pounds of fish per day, nearly half its body weight.

You might not have ever finished the job, but at least you spent the Complete Game Shut Out

de Ligt could write his own ticket anywhere in the world and set himself up with pretty much the ideal situation at Juventus.