I vote for gout and a severe case of prostatitis. Nothing his wife will really need to take care of him for so she can just peace on his miserable, immobilized ass. There was obviously a severely fucked power dynamic going on.

I witnessed something like that, but both more disgusting and sadder. It was a woman who looked to be in her late 20s/early 30s, traveling with her husband who was probably at least 20 years older than her. Two kids, a baby and a little girl about three, both obviously sick. The husband sat and read his newspaper…

BRB, off to buy scrunchies and roll a joint.

I’m a one hit wonder, and the last time I smoked I got suuuuuuuuper high off 1/4 of a tiny joint, and then spent an hour stroking my bored dogs’ ears, gazing into their eyes, and telling them how wonderful I think it is that they are not only conscious beings, but have consciousness that is separate from my own.

I met someone like that at a pool in Seattle! He grew up in central Mexico and never learned, and he would show up while I was doing laps with googles, a vest, and arm floaties, and painstakingly practice the crawl stroke. I really admired that a ~35 yo man was willing to wear floaties if that’s what it took to learn…

I don’t get it. He just looks like someone’s dad to me, middle aged white dude who probably grills in cargo shorts, you know?

Nose contouring has got to stop.

Right? How has nobody commented on his SATIN SHEATHED MANBITS?!?! It’s SHINY!!!

Eyebrows are a completely different kettle of fish! Mine are naturally patchy and one sort of trails off into nothingness halfway through. Filling in my brows is pretty much the one thing I don’t leave the house without doing.

I have super fine hair and use conditioner maybe twice a month? My hair looks so much better now and a moisturizing shampoo (like the organix coconut milk) is plenty to keep it soft. I also use an apple cider vinegar rinse every few weeks. It temporarily makes you smell like a salad but everything is so soft and shiny…

You could always just try tinted dry shampoo without changing your washing, if that doesn’t work out! I use it on clean hair just for volume and grip sometimes. I’ve also seen multiple tutorials instructing me to use eyeshadow to color in my part/camouflage hairline oddities/etc, and tinted dry shampoo seems like a…

Have you tried tinted dry shampoo? I have super fine, straight hair that used to get oily really quick, but I switched to using dry shampoo every other day and I’m a total convert. It feels healthier from washing less, and I love the volume that dry shampoo gives my hair. If you get a tinted one, it would also make…

I want to get on board him.

Atilla = best name for a super ever.

My local theater sells beer, it’s been 94 degrees everyday, and I’m bored as fuck, so I’ll probably end up going to see it too, who am I kidding.

I laughed my ass off when I saw the trailer in theaters last week, and then promptly went home and watched all the alternate trailers because I’m a grown woman. Honestly, they were by far the best thing about Despicable Me, which was a bit maudlin, and I desperately need to find a child somewhere that I can use as a…

Josefina had the best costumes. The history dork side of me loved Kirsten and all things pioneer; the future glamour babe was all about Josefina.

This was me <- last time my husband shaved off the beard.

Right? The lack of beard takes him from 8/10, would bang, to looking kind of like an oyster.

Am I the only one who thinks that Bonsai is a completely grim name for a little puppy that’s already had to have his back legs amputated? The idea of pruning a dog is upsetting. And given that bonsai is an art form, there are weird aesthetic connotations too. It’s way too much like the bonsai kittens urban legend that…