Are we twins? Mr Parade has been forcibly bearded. I sulked for weeks when he shaved it off last spring and was ecstatic when he decided to grow it back. I love beard.

OOoh! A guy one OKCupid once did NOT get a date from me because I asked him about his life (you know, as one does to make sure someone isn't a creep or a serial killer) and he refused to answer and then referred me to his iMDB.

Aaaaahhh Mr Parade sincerely Does Not Get why his white self with cornrows would be utterly horrific. Luckily he is sensitive to social shame, so now he just sadly asks why everyone is saying they won't be seen in public with him anymore if he does it.

The no-hobbies thing mystifies me. I have a bunch of coworkers like that, where when you ask them what they do for fun they're like, "Netflix?" It makes me want to scream. How do you not even have a favorite show or movie??? Just Netflix, as a thing to sit in front of? Argh.

I once had a burgeoning crush nipped in the bud because I went out drinking with this guy and he got tipsy and started using little kid voice. Fake lisping and all. It creeped me out so hard.

My ass is three bananas!

That was the kicker that scared me off of American Apparel for ever. I wanted to like their plain, overpriced basics with whackjob sizing SO BAD but their mirrors show every spandex-encased lump and the lighting is a great way to realize just how many pores you have.

Mr. Parade always make me warm port, maybe with a cinnamon stick and a squeeze of orange. I've enthusiastically adopted it as a cure for: the flu, colds, cramps, seasonal affective disorder, winter. It's amazing how well it works (at not making you care you're sick)!

I'm pretty much pro-medieval everything. Seriously, my life involves a lot of sweeping around in the Free People Miles of Henley dress while blasting Carlos Gesualdo's Madrigals (not medieval, but we're going for the vibe here, people) and planning the medieval feast I've bullied Mr. Parade into agreeing to as a…

SO DARK, SO GOOD. I fucking loved that movie as a kid and still think it's pretty awesome. I would trade the crappy, saccharine cutesyness of most Disney songs for grim faux-medieval music any day. Granted, I was a pretty morbid child, but still: badass.

The steroids they give you in association with chemo can exacerbate some pre-existing conditions - my mother is (diagnosed but untreated) bi-polar, and took an obvious turn towards unmanageable after she went through chemo that her docs attribute to the steroids. It mostly took the form of being really, really manic…

Lentil salad with seared leeks, bacon, and boiled eggs on baby kale. Yuummm frenchy and healthy-ish, yet Mr. Parade still considers it "dinner". Victory!

The Pomodoro method! You break up fairly short sessions of working with short, timed breaks, usually 25 minutes of working to 5 minutes of break. It works great because the timed breaks keep you from falling down internet/netflix rabbitholes, and they come frequently enough that you don't lose focus.

This!!! Due to a combination of being pretty broke when I got married (and feeling weird spending my family's money on things for me rather than an awesome party) and just not being that sentimental about things, I have a hand-me-down/heirloom engagement ring and wedding band that I'm not super attached to. They're…

Something that's worked for me is a light-core version of mindful eating. I'm not constitutionally capable of intensely savoring the moment of eating raisins, at least without feeling stupid, but making a habit of asking myself, "Do I really want this?" made a huge difference. I'm pretty sure I lost the first 5 lbs…

I volunteered at a pediatric clinic once where a mother brought in her infant daughter, as well as her adult daughter who brought in her infant son. It was mostly just cute because they were all so close, except for the part where the mother's boyfriend was 5 years younger than the adult daughter, who was seeing a…

Mine too! My dad married way too young, had a few kids, divorced, and married my mom when his kids were in college and also getting married way too young. The end result: I was an aunt x 4 before I was born, am now an aunt x 7 and great-aunt x 2 now that my nieces in their late-20s are starting to have kids. It's only…

But...why do boats need special loafers? Why are loafers more suited to boats than duck boots? And where are the boats???

I just went back to school at an East Coast Ivy and my little PNW mind is blown: WHY IS NO ONE WEARING SOCKS? WHAT IS UP WITH THESE BOAT SHOES?

I bet that's what it is. I'm a woman in STEM, and in my experience, the cumulative effect of being 1. An arrogant scientist who thinks he's hot shit and 2. The "coolest" guy around is an orgy of self-congratulation. Seriously, he is such a type, namely Insufferable Douchebro.