These are so fabulously impractical. The bows keep them from being too bondage-y and too slutty but you know they'd look great with nothing but a mesh thong and a black and white push up bra.

want. would wear at the slightest provocation.

Gatorade! Or home-made rehydration solution. If it's a really bad hangover, you can get so dehydrated that it throws your osmotic balance out of whack and you may not even be able to keep down water. Anything with electrolytes with be easier to stomach and make you feel better, even flat coke with a pinch of salt. Sip…

Also sort of traditional, but this is mine:

With aplomb! Bring a nice host gift, be friendly with the new boyfriend, and have a nice time. Remember to be proud of yourself, too: addiction is a nasty beast, and you are awesome for having been sober this long. I'm not saying that you do, but don't think of yourself as pitiable, or as someone with nowhere else to…

Ditto! I was ending a long, messy relationship when Mr. Parade walked in, and yes there was overlap and it was OMG ALL THE SCANDAL despite our attempts to keep it on the down-low. To this day, there are people who act like my fairly boring, overly domestic self is actually some sort of wanton harlot, despite 5 years…

I sympathize! I had a nasty incident involving my thumb and some molten grape jelly a couple of years ago when I was trying to combine day-drinking and putting up preserves, and the only thing that got me through the first day was constant soaking in cold water, and then after that dressings made with refrigerated…

I'm pretty sure mine judges me. He's mastered the long, drawn-out, groaning sigh + disapproving stare combo. He also has a knack for getting people to go "OH who's a handsome man?!?! Who's a good looking doggie??? Come here, boy! Come get snuggly pettums!" and then just looking at them like they're total morons and…

My pittie once broke into my nightstand and ate a jar of lavender infused coconut oil I was using as moisturizer AND a whole bottle of tums. She shat pastel colored, lavender scented grease for about three days.

honestly, feeling overdressed makes me feel just as bad as feeling too casual. do what makes you comfortable! i hate feeling like i'm trying too hard, it makes me feel conspicuous and more insecure than if i just dress normally.

Tokyo Milk's Bulletproof No. 45! It's smoked tea, cedar, coconut milk, and ebony, but the effect is of earthy, creepy, hippie-goth - dried flowers, incense, dirt, the sweet smell of something dead in the woods. I love it because it is ever so slightly sickly and indisputably dark, and makes me think of sky burials and…

St. Marks also has the most beautiful singing on Sunday nights at 8!

Because you can tell how expensive the bread is after it's been soaked in stock and covered in sausage and herbs and all the tasty stuff, right? Don't get me wrong, wonderbread stuffing would probably be gross, but that's profoundly silly.

It's awesome! If you are ethically okay with it, you can find pirated versions of most books that download really fast with a torrent thingy, it's actually a pretty great form of instant gratification. A lot of classics are available legally since the licenses have expired, which is also awesome. I also like that I…

I was hoping someone wanted to talk about stuffing!!! I love it because it's one place where you can get a little rowdy, you know? This year I made a sourdough stuffing with minced chicken liver, dried apples and apricots soaked in wine, and fennel.

lamb! a roasted leg of lamb or rack of lamb on the grill if it's not too cold, mulled wine, scalloped potatoes, green salad, egg nog, cookies, hot spiked cider, cookies. christmas menus are much less canonical here, and in my family at least it's less about having Every Thanksgiving Dish and more about booze delivery…

A+ on the fake Hemingway.

Sing, O Muse, of the Nipples of Achilles

Me too! It's to the point where I'm sort of at a loss when I'm only cooking for myself, and a pretty obvious sign I care about someone is when I make something really time consuming and delicious. Recents have included lasagna bolognese, thai curry from scratch, and two piese.

That is SO what my MIL does, except it's even funnier because she is lovely, but sometimes a walking stereotype of the snobby french person. So far, the Superior French Versions of things have included: barrettes, soap, table runners, pimple cream, and raw marzipan for baking.