There's a coffee shop in the University of Texas alumni building called Texas Expresso, a play on Texas Exes, the alumni association. I always fear that the name has led some people to pronounce it and/or actually think it's "expresso."

Also teenage boys smell.

I am Tyler's passive-aggressive email.

MugaHEAD DESK

Meanwhile, over at wife academy, we drink cocktails and swap horror stories about men who apparently reached marriageable age without knowing how to cook, iron, or make a bed.

Instantly thought of The Birdcage.

Yes.

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My…

I try to be all "I don't judge," but nope, nope, nope, nope..

I dunno... maybe she just shouldn't have swallowed that IUD in the first place.

surprise i am actually that dude

"I feel threatened now, which isn't fair. Sure she felt threatened, too, but it wasn't a real threat, which she had no way of knowing because I purposely made it look like a real threat. I don't understand!"

thing guy was doing barely happens to him, mind is changed, is victim now.

I have a theory about people who become wildly successful/famous on the level that Steve has achieved: their relationship with their past, pre-fame and success, is an either or proposition. Either they embrace it. Or they shed it like a snake sheds its skin, leaving it in the middle of the road, to dry up and blow…

Evil Russians, ranked:

On the plus side, I have noticed that in the last few years, it is a hell of a lot easier to find shoes that fit. Even seven or eight years ago, I had to settle for what they had in stock. Now, I have far more options and pick the shoes that I like.

Zappos and shoes.com carry sizes that fit my giant feet... just FYI

Try being in the mystery grey area between 10W and 11-1/2.