Thinking about it, I probably just like being able to eat booze and then wash it down with a generous glass of port that's probably older than me.

A good fruitcake is pretty awesome. That anemic garbage WITH ICING FFS is not it.

So... DC aren't completely clueless about what to do with their properties?

I rolled my eyes so hard I sprained something and now I'm in hospital.

No really... Don't let it.

You've forgotten Sir Patrick, King of Nerds. He hit the level cap 30 years ago and hasn't changed since.

Well the old saying was "No sex please, we're British."

Being white and (formerly) rich does wonders for your perceived mental health.

Authorial intent only goes so far. Times have changed, perceptions have changed. The whole thing sounds creepy as ever-loving fuck to the modern ear.

Look at those eyes. Clearly she's secretly one of the Lizard People.

I lost my virginity at 16 to a girl a little older than me who told me flat out she wanted a lay and nothing else. I was totally 16 and totally ok with that.

I hate, hate HATE this song. I hate it so much it makes me want to go into monologues about it like a giant computer that keeps the last humans on Earth alive just to torture them. I've heard this song literally a thousand times and each time it chips away just a small piece of the wall that holds back my rage for…

With so much farmland, there's got to be some really great, fresh food around. I guess cost and access is the killer.

Go. The fuck. To jail. You gross asshole.

I'm down with this.

Maybe I will come to your country and fuck all your bread!

I'm a little upset that nowhere in this article does the word "turgid" appear.