“I hear it’s a joke. I haven’t watched. I haven’t watched for one minute because I’ve been with [Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan]. Which is much more important, as far as I am concerned,”

And then I claim the empty throne for myself and rally thousands to my standard.

Hey, Jimmy Fallon wedged himself into a musical bit that didn’t need him. It’s almost as if he needs approval so badly he’ll attach himself to his guests at any opportunity.

From the linked article:

Brent: Listen! No listen! We can get... Jason Alexander!

I was at an event where someone asked him what his secret was.

Downside: it’s from the Pulaski season AND she’s in it.

“Giving” something to someone isn’t capitalism. That’s charity.

Now explain the continued existence of Donald J. Trump and how it fits into your dumb little explanation of how capitalism works.

Every Trump has a weak chin and the males have well-defined hips. Great genetics at work.

I had never heard of this guy before I saw him mentioned on Twitter last night, but the surprising part for me was reading that women were involved.

I feel bad for whomever would have to edit that shitshow.

“There’s a presumption of innocence until proven guilty.”

And yet she’s more articulate than her husband.

It took me a moment longer than it should have. Well done.

You dumb motherfucker.

Illegal border crossing is a misdemeanor.

Bush II and Obama didn’t talk shit about Gore & Romey at every opportunity, either.

Well, it’s James Corden, so more people will see this article than watched the episode in question.

“I’ve been vilified on a global scale as somebody akin to a genocidal villain and I’ll never be able to get a job again.”