Testament 2: Electric Boogaloo

I watch Gilmore Girls to soak up that mother-daughter relationship that I could never have. Pathetic? Maybe. But I love those girls.

We are taking my kid to a jousting match when we are in England this summer...I would fucking LOVE for her to see a badass woman up there!

Honestly this makes me wish my friends weren’t all Serious Feminists because I really want to make a group chat titled Bitches Of The Moment now

BREITBART EXCLUSIVE: Donald Trump Has Ascended to Heaven to Serve at the Right Hand of the Father

I really couldn’t disagree with you more. The power imbalance in a relationship between a famous hollywood actor in his 40s and a 20-year-old ingenue is massive. If he’s bringing a bunch of 20-year-old girls around set, it’s creepy and uncomfortable for the people he works with. This is the sort of behavior that I…

No, when you bring your girlfriends on set that’s not just your personal life. You’ve mixed your personal and work life and your coworkers just may comment on it.

I loved making homemade ones for the kids because I used the cookie cutters to make ALL KINDS OF SHAPES BECAUSE I ROCK AS A STEP MOM SUCK THAT OTHER KIDS’ MOMS WHO SAID I WASN’T A REAL MOM I mean, ya know, because I was cheap.

Will Arnett has always given me very strong “Take your drink with you” vibes.

This quote makes me so fucking mad. “solely based on the reporting of my case.” Sure as hell not as a result of your own actions though!

“(Keep in mind that Turner fled the scene of the crime on foot after two passing cyclists witnessed the attack and stopped it.)”

He also couldn’t have been too drunk if he was able to react to getting caught quickly enough to get up and run.

I know it’s completely dismissing your point (which is great in itself), but +1 for “turbofuck.”

I can’t get over his Dad’s “20 minutes” quote. Mostly because 20 minutes is a real long time to fuck a motionless body. Maybe he meant 20 seconds? Even if you are drunk, at some point you have to feel a little creeped out by your actions, right?

I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Michael Cera is a rapist.

People aren’t hammering home enough that he fled on foot when caught. NO ONE reacts that way to “sex” getting interrupted; that’s only how one flees the scene of the crime.

There is no pastry as delicious as a beignet covered in powdered sugar with a cup of chicory coffee

In the dark. As they rode by. They see the activity behind the dumpster. Something seems wrong about it to them. They turn back to investigate. They intervene. They call for help. They hold the perpetrator until the authorities arrive. They provide eyewitness testimony. They don’t seek the limelight, in fact they shun…

Of course he’d say that’s why his marriage fell apart and not the fact that he was fucking Marla Maples on the side. Because his wife didn’t know her place I guess.

Do we Jason?