*I*, sir/madam/troll, am a walking renaissance of epic parts beauty, ugliness, talent, tragedy, and week-old bong water scented with Chanel no.5. I radiate charm and carnage, and will always look somewhere between 21 and 3500 years old.

I hope the numbers align for you.

“Wow, this guy almost died and then had the courage to recount all of it for us and how it made him reevaluate his life. You know what I think this needs?

hey look its one of those guys who posts completely uncalled-for vitriol for no discernible reason

Not advice that was personally delivered to me, but I once overheard two people in a bar talking about how one of them was getting divorced, and the other said “a relationship needs at least either talking or fucking. If you lose both, you’re doomed.”

I will never argue that Zach Bowman is more talented than I am, but what the fuck is your problem, man? 

Oh, then please tell me how I can make my next near-death experience more entertaining for you.

Mrs. Renfro’s Habanero (not the mango one, not my thing) salsa is legit. I always have a jar in the fridge and an extra in the pantry. And I didn’t like salsa at all growing up. Now all other store bought salsas leave me wanting...

You want to live in a tiny trailer with no toilet and shower? I get the whole wanderlust minimalism mentality, but set yourself up for success first.

Sexy Mitch McConnell

Say whatever about Vettel. As far as I’m concerned, this sums it up.

This is wrong. President Trump - with great and unmatched wisdom (his words, (the best)) - said cars are like paper mache, and he is going to make them cheaper and safer.

Children tend to act up when the pan is on the stove. That’s why Latinx mothers use a different method.

“Why are you neglecting your children, fancy man-chef?”

“I have always employed female chefs, but historically and ultimately, the body clock starts working. It’s evolution, and it is one thing to have a 9-5 job and quite another to be a chef with kids. So, that makes it difficult . [The physical strain of lifting] heavy pots and pans.”

I was a service writer many years ago and got all the bullshit you describe and then some. It SUCKS that things apparently haven’t changed that much. 

You just described my life as an engineer. My daughter is used to this treatment because she graduated with her BSME in 2010. You learn to either ignore it or you troll them when it happens. Complaining seldom does any good because the managers are often just as sexist and the people doing it know the boss will cover…

Youre a tough person. Sorry that me and my fellow XY chromosome having ppl are such assholes.

A strong independent team that don't need no can