Yes! What could possibly be more important? One butt versus the greatest songwriting trio this century?!

COME ON DOWN TO DISCOUNT GOOP WAREHOUSE FOR ALL YOUR GOOP NEEDS! WE'VE GOT GOOPS AT NOT $100, NOT $50, NOT $25, NO, WE'VE GOT GOOPS OF ALL SIZES FOR JUST $19.99! GET A GOOP FOR YOUR MOM! GET HER TWO GOOPS! AT THESE INSANE PRICES, THE GOOPS JUST WON'T LAAAST.

10, if we're lucky.

Ugh, I find him so full of himself.

That one doesn't bother me as much, but cantaloupe and pumpkin seeds make me want to jump out of a window.

aaaaahhhh trypophobia ahhhhhhh!

I always remember thinking, "Why don't people just float in a flood?" Duh, guys, my five-year-old self has the solution! Nobody panic.

Hubs and I had no one at our courthouse wedding. It was hard for our families to accept at first, but they have. We told them about it well ahead of time, we did not register for gifts or anything like that. We just told everyone we were getting married and accepted their good wishes, nothing else. People want to be…

Yes, yes, you did. I have to go scrub my eyeballs now.

gaaaaaaag

the baby life insurance mailings were too much for me. I sent one reply back in the prepaid envelope, scrawled with, "MY BABY DIED." That got me off their mailing list, and all I had to do was endure the death of a child!

I was really hoping they 'shopped out a few of his fat rolls. Slimmed him down, gave him a six pack, more hair... Headline, "Prince George's Revenge Body: How I Dropped Three Pounds Without Dieting!"

THIS IS MY EXACT ANSWER, REGULAR PARROT.

Ulta did this to me once with InStyle magazine. I couldn't figure out how I started subscribing to it all of a sudden. It took forever to cancel and get my money back. Bastards.

Oh, god, of course I had to go read it. And now I remember that scene of the kitten flying off a cliff - how could it possibly not have been treated cruelly?

Or Milo and Otis, the greatest story of friendship ever told?

That's not Jesus, it's Rasputin! Ruuuuun

Here is my parenting advice, given to me by a dear family member after the birth of my daughter:

Different does not even begin to cover it. All I'll say is that the director did not have a script, just a loose framework in mind. Most of it is improvised, and it is stunningly gorgeous.

I know. When I realized that, a very small piece of me died (because otherwise, we definitely would have ended up together.)