If you hadn't made yourself smell so delicious, that pack of wolves wouldn't have ripped you to pieces.

I would like to start a newsletter with her called, "Amy and Susan's Advice on Things They Know Nothing About!" Issue one would rehash the date rape thing, to build our hate-readership. We'd then move on to "Raising Your Baby (You're Doing It Wrong)", "Self-Dentistry: Learn Along With Us!", "Speak Uzbek By Making…

Well, by her logic, Michael Fassbender's character in 12 Years a Slave was also not racist since he was having sex with black women! I don't see what all the fuss was about!

Once again, I submit my response for future Bachelor contestants/hosts when asked about other kinds of people: "I don't have a problem with the idea, but that's above my pay grade." Add a genial chuckle and move on. They're interviewing you about your work on The Bachelor! They're not hard-hitting journalists looking…

Dear Susan,
You're a relic of a bygone age dishing out advice to a generation you don't know or understand. Your book is an attempt to justify your life choices, even though your marriage didn't work out. (Shockingly.)

Thank you for the correction. Now I know to pencil in CERTIFICATE OF POLYANDRY on the marriage license.

Nooooope

Is polygamy legal in Britain? This is how my two husbands will look when they see me coming down the aisle.

I know someone whose two labors and deliveries were under an hour each. The second time she was already at the hospital for a routine appointment, or she would have given birth in a cab.

This sounds like you made it up, but I trust you, Jolie. (Although part of me would delight if you were like, "I made millions of dollars on my book, I'm DONE with these filthy lame-os. 'Yeah, light a stick of maple in your yard and pray to the heathen god to return your slippers to you.'")

I know you've covered cleaning slippers in the past - I have a pair of shearling-lined suede slippers (cuz I'm fancy) but that shearling is getting diiiirty! Any suggestions on cleaning it without damaging the suede?

To echo others, you never know what your experience with it will be. My sis in law read every book on the planet on breastfeeding and her daughter was unable to form a good latch. I did no research whatsoever and my kid latched right the very first time. I suspect when I have another, it will be a totally different…

My kid is like a tiny alligator, and was from the first time I put her up to nurse. She is a breast detective, and she will sniff out any boob-like structure in a ten-foot radius.

Ah, yes, Spain. This is your most pressing problem right now. If you ban abortions, your economy will spring back to life! Your human trafficking problem will disappear! Your olive oil will not be stolen and sold as Italian olive oil!

Re: Miles O'Brien - My mom also lost her hand in a freak accident. One of the weirder difficulties she always encounters is how commonplace hand amputations are in movies and TV. She has PTSD from her accident and it's obviously a huge trigger for her. Take note next time you see it happen.

Duh, it's a stargate! Where else are the stars supposed to walk on?

No! Give Amy a primetime show!

I'm always reminded of when Kelly on The Office said, "How can someone so beautiful be so sad?"

Malamutes are like bigger huskies. And they are such wonderful dogs! I'd have one again in a heartbeat if I lived in the right climate for one.

He (or she) doesn't have that predatory expression (ears pricked forward, sniffing around a lot.) I would have made myself known at least (from a safe distance) and seen what kind of reaction I got.