Oh now I get it! Haha, Jay Mohr is funny again! #joke

Have you ever thought about if Enrique Iglesias were British, he'd be Henry Churches?

Larry King wins today's Tweet Beat for nailing his own brand of false enthusiasm and irrelevance, all perfectly imaginable in his yell-talk.

But he winked! So it's charming!

I hate the word "tasty". I hate it when people describe food as tasty. It's the faintest praise you can give to food that's not bland.

I can't say he's wrong in his assertion. My husband married me at 28 and I won't touch any of the ducks (or any other game) he's killed.

Thanks! I'm lucky enough to have been pregnant when I posted that, though I didn't know it. I have a healthy, happy baby girl who keeps sighing in her sleep as I type. Nature did its thing with her and all I did was get out of its way. I am very grateful for all of it!

Sorry, what?! I glanced at your comment, scrolled up, and then my brain went, "6 hours of pushi...6 HOURS OF PUSHING?!"

But maybe you didn't hear - he fucks bitches! That's super awesome! Yeah!

I would like to remind Charlie Sheen's current girlfriend of how he treats his former ex-wife/girlfriend Brooke Mueller, who also hated Denise Richards. Girl, it's only a matter of time before the Charlie Sheen Bipolar Cannon of Vitriol is aimed at your face.

Sounds like an episode of Louie.

I live in DC and my friend always says that it's not officially summer until a rat runs across your flip flopped foot. It happens to him every year.

As this is the internet, I'm obligated to tell you you're doing it wrong and your children will likely grow up to be criminals.

I have to believe there's lots of photoshop being used here for the simple reason that there's no way her bikini is holding up boobs that size without creating huge indentations in her shoulders. I have those boobs. String bikinis are a hilarious joke to boobs that big.

I'm breastfeeding my first, who's a month old now. She's the same way - nurses well for about 5 minutes, and then conks out and is hard to wake back up. I thought I wasn't producing enough for awhile (and totally cried about it), but I've found that letting her nurse more often for shorter periods is helping her gain…

The Fig Newton. Amazing parenting, and I don't mean that sarcastically.

This is what we did. We had a girl (a whole month old today!) and now our lives are pink. Pink everything. At least she has a few clothes that are green or yellow or white (or even blue, when I'm feeling particularly subversive) that I can dress her in when family isn't around. When they bring her pink outfits, I…

Most appropriate gif ever. +1 internet for you.

truth.

A Kevin Sorbo cameo is pretty much the only way I would see a Hercules movie starring the Rock and Kellan Lutz.